its complicated

Informal.

2010-06-13T00:51:00.005+08:00

The past few entries when i got back to blogging, it seems like soo formal... Now, no more... If u get what i mean.. =)

Okae... 1st of all, nxt 2wks is sch break.. When sch reopens, its exams... but my 2wks will just go *poof*... Disappeared.. Hectic training for Rentra nxt wk b4 actual day on Fri... Besides dat, skills practice, FYP, ICA and work.. Im enduring till fri nite whr evrything gonna be over...! (i mean the hectic trainings). Totally cant wait for saturday to head back to Malacca... Im just gonna relax there and study!

On the other note, im waiting for tues, end of mth n 1st July... $__$ .. Heheh... Still havent got any letter on when i can receive my bursary..

Caught 2 movies this week.. Killers & Sex And The City 2... Both movies were awesome.. I really felt like watching Killers again..

Work. Im beginning to really enjoy working at vc nw.. I can tell some new staffs kinda afraid of me.. Coz i can get nasty with them when it gets really busy and orders are all cocked up... I would just raise my voice at them.. Really..! But i aint that bad u noe.. Mgrs dont mind me doing dat.. Its not dat im taking advantage just coz im considered senior.. No... When it gets really busy, u just have to do things fast and know ur stuffs.. U dont want any complaints do u.. Its best to avoid.. Thats hw it is in F&B line..

Love. Life. Has a complicated/confused love life as alwaes... Some things are meant to be told but some arent.. Sometimes, its only best that d closest and bestest of frns know it.. Yes, thats what i did... Pouring it out to certain ppl... Thnk u all.. ILY!

Gdnite!~

random

2010-04-22T22:57:00.001+08:00

Does everything that happens, happens for a reason?

It happened b'coz it just wants it to happen that way, w/o any reasons?

Get what im trying to say?

No?

Nevermind. At least i do.

mc day 2

2010-04-21T22:24:00.003+08:00

A boring day today. MC day 2. I did the homeworks, so called; what i had to research on. Mum cooked non-spicy food for me. Seriously, nothing else to share.

Good Night!

mc day 1

2010-04-20T23:09:00.018+08:00

I hate today! Condition doesn't get any better. I had lect at 8am then break for 4hrs. I had Que accompanying me to yishun polyclinic. Waiting time was more than an hour. But, consulting time was about 10min only. I was suprised that the doc didn't even examined my tummy. I thought she should? No? I left the poly with only 1 med, Loperamide & 2days MC. I got this from drugs.com: "Loperamide capsules are used to treat the symptoms of diarrhoea, but will not treat the condition causing the diarrhoea." My diarrhoea is caused by food poisoning. So, does this sentence means that it won't treat the food poisoning but just to relieve the diarrhoea? Ohh... Its soo painful! And i thought the headache had subside but it strikes again. My tummy is like full of tabs rather than foods. Arghh!

Abit of school. I had the 1st lect of behavioural mod today. For that, i can understand very well. Hopefully it goes on for the subsequent lectures. I was supposed to leave lab an hr early for he knew i was on MC and wanted me to go home and rest. But think he forgot, i ended up staying till end of lab. I don't mind. I love our lab lecturer, no beating about the bushes. I actually thought of not skipping sch tmr. But since i was given an MC, i might as well rest. Tmr will be the 1st bio lect and practical. No chance for a full attendance this yr.

So today is 200410.. I remembered 4yrs ago, it was quite a pleasant one. How time flies. Love-hate r/s it was. In pain now.. Hopefully, one day, about this.

Cold sweats. Gdnite!

unwell

2010-04-19T22:12:00.002+08:00

Today was the start of year 3. I want to update a long one but im still unwell. Just today, i had diarrhoea for 5 times, feels nauseatic all along, a throbbing headache and this squeeze-like stomach pain in the center. I bared with it since morning. The headache was the worst. I took 1 tab of paracetamol last night and slept. When i woke up, it was still very painful. Today i took 2 tabs of paracetamol in the morning and aftnoon each. But no effect at all. After dinner, i decided to take 2 tabs of anarex. Hopefully i'll feel better when i woke up tmr morning. If not, i'll skip school (maybe). I tend to get paranoid if im unwell for 2days or more.

Wanna get some good sleep. Lect at 8am tmr. Nitez all! =)

im back

2010-04-18T22:45:00.002+08:00

Im back from Malacca. School's starting tomorrow and i need to settle my timetable. Im having a splitting headache since ystd. Will update when im free.

Gd nite!

'heart pain many2!'

2010-04-14T23:33:00.003+08:00

I took the train today after few weeks of not doing so. I started work at 12pm and got to know there'll be an audit. I wasn't prepared. You know sometimes they will ask questions like the SOP, shelf-life etc. Yes, i was asked but thankful that i could answer it. Lunch crowd only started nearly 2pm. I don't know why they like to assign me as cashier. Its tiring and boring. Haha. You have to repeat the same thing. Theres a number of trainees and one was on shift. It was his don't-know-how-many-days. He did IB today. 'Heart pain many2 ok.' I decided not to do cashier after my break. So, during that 1.5hrs left, i did IB with him. Not literally do but observed and taught him. OH! They say hes from Myanmar. He understands and can speaks english, not very well but ok. Heres some conversations i had with him (should know why heart pain many2 k).

He was asking many questions regarding the drinks.

Me: Have you learnt how to do all the drinks? Can you remember all? (was referring to IB).

Him: I learnt all already but i don't know all.

Me: HUH?! You learnt all but don't know all??!!!!!

Him: I mean i learnt all already but cannot remember, not skillful.

Me: *SIGH*

He was on break and wanted to take his drink. So, he took a small IB cup.

Me: What is that for?

Him: Ice tea.

Me: For you is it?

Him: For you is it? (YES! he repeated, looking blurred).

Me: For you is it? (there's a raise in voice abit).

Him: For you is it? (He repeated my qn again, blurred).

Me: *Sigh* *Rolls eyes* IS THAT FOR YOU TO DRINK??!!! (max. voice i think).

Him: Ahhh... Yes2..

Me: *sigh* You can't use this cup, you have to use the staff cup. Its inside kitchen, on top of the sink. Theres an orange cup, use that.

Him: *blur* (open up the cupboard on top of him where all the stocks are).

Me: NO! NO! I said inside, sink, space on top, cup is there. Not here! (with some pointings and word by word).

He went in, found it.

Fuhhh...! A tough one to train. I gt a msg from a classmate. Its mixed feelings. Happy finally someone took me in. Scared to be in her group. Worried. But anyway thank you babe. Will work towards it. Anyway, OM once asked me how long have i been working. I said few mths. Today she asked me again. I smiled and said few years. She was asking me what do i think of PSM (p/t shift mgr). More responsibilities. She'll see how it goes in abt 2 or 3 mths more. And maybe we can work something out. If i had to choose PSM or upgrade? I've to include that i'll soon be in yr 3 and i still got my dance. Responsibility needed too. Priorities?

I did a little bit of shopping today after work. I wanted to buy a black jeans but mum won't let. So, i settled with grey. I wished i could go again tmr but theres training. You know when with somebody, sometimes they tend to hurry u. I don't like that. Its impromptu though that mum too wanted to head down to arab st. Since we got home, mum's been nagging coz i haven't started packing my stuffs for friday. *Sigh*

Another day at work tmr, this time with even great people. Pay's gonna be in. Gd nite lovelys! =)

tranquil tuesday

2010-04-13T22:57:00.005+08:00

I was awakened at 8.05am by an sms. I was calm to read it seeing whos the sender. Haha. I read, smiled and back to sleep. I was happy the fact that i won't be doing any repeat module. I just couldn't believe i saw an SP that i read the msg again when i woke up. Okae, enough about this temporary happiness.

I decided not to go shopping today. Instead, i slacked at home again watching movies. The weather was great today as it was pouring heavily. Very cold. Nothing much for today. Just movies with a cup of hot milo as companion.

School starting in a few days. Im getting worried as i still don't have a group. I know some won't take me so i can't be bothered to ask if i can join them. I fear rejections. Im just hoping someone will take me in. So sad.

Working tmr. Nitez!

mundane monday

2010-04-12T23:27:00.000+08:00

I rot at home today. I don't like to go out with no money coz its a waste of time and energy unless im searching for something. Im free that i could actually work but i just wanna rest. I cancelled jogging this morning as i was too tired from the late night day before. So, i did house chores and had movie marathon since afternoon. Watched a total of 3 malay movies. Luckily, lappy didn't auto shut while i was watching.

It feels long to wait for fri. I've planned it all. Hehe. Guessed meet-up with the usuals won't happen due to clashes of our free day. We shall meet when school resumes orite. Speaking of school, timetable will only be released on thurs. I don't think i will like it with the fact that i got 2 year two's modules to cover. Wonder if i can do all the year 3 modules plus the other 2? Hopefully there won't be any clashes. I got a feeling that results will be out tmr. If so, i expect to see a SP when i read the sms. If not, im doomed.

Facebook is getting boring. Except the games i've been playing lately. Hmmm. Im wondering what to do tmr. Im only left with tmr or wed evening to shop. I need few pairs of jeans, dresses and tops for school. Seriously, Malacca is boring to shop for everyday clothes. And its not worth paying for something similar here, they got limited choices. Well, i'll see how tmr goes.

I miss dancing. Bye for now. Nitey nitez!

new OM

2010-04-11T22:06:00.007+08:00

Im suprised i could make it for 8am work. I left as early as 6.40am so that i could take 188 and won't be late. Yeap, i wasn't late; 7.30am. Work was fun with great people. The new OM was nice though, unexpected. Ahhh, i don't like the new MIT. Its juz a small matter and you go about bragging about it to the other 2 mgrs. But HAHAH!! The OM don't even care. If she cares, she would already come looking for me/talk to me. TOO BAD! Your 1st impression to me sucks.

I love IB slam. Hehe. I did IB for 1hr straight. Luckily nobody bothers me. I got to knock off on time too. An incident happened at the escalator near our outlet. I heard some shouting and saw a few people running down the escalator. My OM ran towards it. And she came back running asking wheres the security post. Some colleagues went to see it too. I stayed to serve the customers. They told me that a boy's foot was stuck at the side of the escalator. Woo scary. The father was fast enough to stop the escalator. Within secs, passersby, shoppers started to gather around the place. 2 student nurses were on shift (farah & me) and we had this urge to offer help. It wasn't that long before they managed to release the boy's foot. SCDF team and police came too. I got to see the boy when they pushed him in a wheelchair. He didn't cry at all but his facial expression tells it all. He was wearing a crocs shoe. Maybe it makes sense why they say crocs shoe aren't safe for kids?

I had to skip Bishan ITE's dance training again today, for umpteen times. I will resume once school starts. Hopefully. I skipped school's dance training many times during attachment. I just thought that enough rest was the essential thing to have. Sometimes i had to sacrifice though i really wanna be a part of this year's club crawl much. Being a part of this year's open house didn't happen either. =( Im glad i chose dance, something i've been wanting to do it. Am satisfied for now but theres still lots for me to achieve.

Till nxt time. Toodles.

new look.

2010-04-10T22:50:00.005+08:00

I like how my blog looks like currently. I like it simple and dull with the old template now. Though nothing much changes except the background and pic header. PLS dont mind the pic header as i looked a lil fat coz i stretched it. Im also thinking of a new url.

Its already the 4th month of 2010. Jan has been a bad start with us involving in a minor car accident and with the sudden death of beloved grandfather. Feb was the opposite. March was another fabulous one with birthdays and holidays, apart from attachment. Attachment wasn't that fabulous but a great one i must say. Hopefully April will even be better.

3 weeks attachment in ortho surg ward just ended yesterday. Last day and all we could think of is to slack. But no. We were kinda busy towards the end with a few admissions. I still managed to give oral med, IV abx, wound dressing, helping Ibnu doing admissions and preparing SLT. Time doesn't permits us to help fix the SLT. We totally had fun and grateful that we got to hands on our skills very much. Gonna miss the bunch of nurses and the CI. Our CI wasn't that bad to think of actually; its just her voice/nagging. Differently, this time there wasn't any photo-taking.

For now, im left with a week of holiday before school resumes for yr 3. I slacked the whole of saturday today with my laptop. Tmr im back to work, starting at 8am. Long day it'll be i guess. Working with the new OM. Wonders how it'll be. Seriously, no more great 'kakis' at work. I hoped to hang on for as long as i can for the sake of money. So, after that its gonna be 2 rest days and 2 more working days. Then i'll be out of S'pore again. =))

Gd nite!

back to melaka..

2009-09-19T04:30:00.001+08:00

yo ppl.... ive been real busy all tis while.. d fact dat ive started werking part-time... n soo y im here todae? well, its been a norm dat i'll update b4 im off to malacca.. yes! 1st dae raye will b dere.. most of d times... i dont hv much time nw.. coz mum has been nagging... an hr more to go but she sed half hr.. n soo on.. im putting on a deaf ear... heheh.. soo, i cnt post a long one like i planned to... like anybody wud read it... as if! i gtg sahur n get ready... will b back on monday aftnoon... till then... tc ppl... enjoy ur hols! Selamat Hari Raya!

aft soo longg...

2009-09-07T00:49:00.004+08:00

am lazy to update..
but yet many tings to say out.. nvm2...

its september nw..
its a sucky situation im in..
juz dont like tis mth cn...
pls wake me up wen september ends cn?

i was looking for a folder n i found a green folder with some email print outs frm yr 2003-2004...
memories2... it hurts me reading it again... n to tink i cried reading them.. i guess tis is all fated... haix2... but, dont want to further comment abt it.. let it be...

todae just slacked in front of lappy surfing here n dere aft much days of nt doin it... n suddenly decides to photocopy some stuffs n head over to vivo outlet aft buke.. but dilly dally n so went out at 9.30pm.. photocopy shops close lerr.... so, called farhan to mit me at yew tee for a chat n some ice-cream.. yat cudnt join.. niwae, we walked ard yew tee n talk2 arh... hahah... reached hm nearly 12am.. yea, its realie nt all we planned will come true... like some1 alwaes told me, we can only plan, but its Him hu decides.. relax k farhan.. insyaallah, one day, d day will come... dats life... its hard to say if i even care abt my life now... hmmm.....

i suddenly miss a frn whom i owaes talk to on msn... wonders whr hes been... niwae, i added tis guy on fb whom i noe frm d ward laa... n to tink dat d 1st time i saw him, i suddenly tot of ashraf.. hes oso known as ash.. n indeed its a small world, afterall... ns mates.. lol!

tmr till wed, im attached to one fullerton outlet.. leceh la sehh.... diff to get dere.. if d following wk or so im still being attached somewhr, i might consider askin for a transfer.. mayb to guthrie hse.. dat is if they still nid ppl la... 3wks of attachment will come soon... wen will i ever look forward to coming to d ward n face d patients?

long way to go till pay day.. hopefully on oct 15th... maybe i'll b rich in oct eh.. tgt wif attachment pay.. hahah... && im tinking of doin kendarat too... instant money... due to buzy-ness, i had a hard time planning for outing or iftar... insyaallah, my body cn endure all tis...

ok2 last one... i did some cleaning n tidying up my wardrobe some time ago.. n i threw 4 roxy wallets!! oso i realised i lost my cute elmo purse... i rmb putting it in d drawer but i donoe whr it is now... *sobs* so, i nid a new roxy wallet plss...!

schedule for ltr; 10am-4pm werk.. 6pm-10pm tarian training.. more than 12hrs away frm hm... arghhh!!! tired la... nk slp!

*misses misses*

rmb, wake me up wen september ends k... =D

Hady's 20th...

2009-09-01T00:00:00.001+08:00

gmbr lame jgk gunekn...

niwae.....

Hapie 20th Burfdae!!!

a lil note for u...

Hady.....

a person whom i known to be cheerful..

a person who is open-minded..

a person whom can be dependant on..

a person who tries hard to be understanding..

someone who likes to joke around..

someone who just likes to be irritating..

someone who likes to dance..

someone who will cry too..

he loves his family..

he loves his gf..

he loves his friends..

he loves GOD..

he who hates arguments/fights..

he who hates fatigue..

he who hates guilt..

he who hates those stupid things i did..

(seriously no idea =D)

he'll be there to put a smile on people's face..

he'll be there to be the listening ear..

he'll be there to give some advices..

he'll be there when you need him..

a great guy. . . .

he's still great but hes bad... =P

oh well~~ wat to do eh...

he admit it...

soo....

thnx for being dere..

all ur help or watsoeve, much appreciated..

its nvr d same again..

but i adapt fast i guess..

(gd to hear kan2?)

May u'll alwaes be blessed in ur life...

All d best in ur future endeavours..

Wateve u plan, Insyaallah it can happen..

Hopefully u'll have a great one this yr..

YAYYY!!!

Enjoy ur dae wif ur loved ones..

Sure gonna be a blast ehk..

Do enjoy & take care dearest bestfrn..

WOOOHOOO!!! da 20 sehh...

Happy Birthday once again..

*lovesloves: aLyA aLLySSa*

(note written frm a frn pt of view)

away.

2009-08-29T21:34:00.000+08:00

i will be back soon..

miss u.

2009-08-18T23:59:00.000+08:00

I miss you...

badly.

loves, ur bf.

Unmotivated.

2009-08-17T21:47:00.003+08:00

i didnt attend dat pharmaco lect juz nw... no beach todae too.. hurhur.... i woke up in d noon... aft i bathe, i took 1 hr+ to decide whr to go.. in d end, i gave up n went dwn to d shop n spent unnecessarily on food n tidbits.. im still nt motivated to study.. i took out my bks n ended up slpg... seriously, i juz dont hv d will to study for exams... i knoe its drawing near but i juz cant... deres still alot of tings on my mind.. i cant stay focus.. n wats more, dat behavioural sci module is alwaes mon morning, 9am lect.. n dat one, im alwaes late n had to skip it.. as a result, d bk is only 30% filled up.. d lecturer left some spaces for us to fill in d blanks.. soo, deres no pt to study if its mostly blank rite... haix! im counting dwn but am still nt yet panic... tell me y.....

whr should i go tmrr??

tarian traininggg still on....

sooo, im trying to make myself bz wif hectic schedules...

*i cant compare the situation then and now*

Fri d 14th aug.

2009-08-16T22:39:00.002+08:00

i just dont understand y ppl alwaes misinterpret/misunderstood me.. even my parents.. yes.. sometimes juz fed up.. maybe my blood runs d same as my dad... cnt bother to xplain.. n in tis wk, y some ppl bothers y i put on dat hairband/headband... even dat receptionist at d/s.. wth? is it wrong or wad... its juz some hairband to put on d head laa.. havent u all seen others wearing it? soo much comments! i dont mind them actualie but wen dat receptionist became kpo, i gt frustrated wif it.. hmph!

lets talk abt fri d 14th aug.. it was officially d laz dae of attachment b4 exams commenced.. unfortunately it wasnt yet official for me.. hah.. so, dat dae started wif a shocked wen i saw dat 442.. i was walkin at a slow pace wen suddenly d person was dere laughin away.. but i was cool.. dat dream to see him dere at least once b4 dat attachment ends came true.. hwever, it didnt turn out as wat i tot it would be.. it happens so dats wat ive gt to face.. though i was cool, i stand at d lift lobby for abt 10min thinking.. in d end, nt to b late, i went up..

d dae in d/s didnt started out gd too.. terrible stomach pain since d previous nite.. went to d toilet for nearly 4times.. diarrhoea.. i still fast.. dehydrated soo by few hrs, gastric attack.. i was asked to fill my stomach, but i didnt want to.. developin shivers n cold sweat.. we were released for break as early as 9.40am.. i just bear wif d pain.. coz i had no money, no meds, no food.. i managed to take a nap in d staff rm.. it subsides for awhile.. as much as i hate theory, it is very important.. i din manage to ans some of d CI's qns.. even so, its bcoz i opened my bk.. hw pathetic cn i get.. no reading done beforehand too.. its no wonder my evaluation is dat, "needs to improve on theoritical knowledge.." i knew it.. thnx.. i guess its time to buck up coz its gonna be end of sem 1 yr 2.. n i cnt possibly gave up nw.. =] we havent had d chance to observe any delivery yet.. we had to go up to d ward at 1pm for evaluation thingy.. it ended till shift ends.. we were told dat d patient is alrdy pushing.. so, we rushed dwn to d/s... i tot delivery will only took a while but nooo... i helped to hold her leg.. shes havin difficulty.. i cud see d baby's head.. but no matter hw hard she tried to push again, it still wont come out.. wen she pushed, i also hv d urge to push.. lol! by d time, its nearly 4pm.. soo, she cudnt take it anymore n was scheduled for op straight away.. n i too rushed.. met d CI, sayin gdbye to 2 new lovely frns n off i go..

i told those hu asked dat i wont be coming dwn to watch dian boys.. it was hari raya lite up '09 held over at taman warisan.. whr actualie ive planned to go.. initial plan was to go alone.. i did la but i met ayu kecik n nana at golden landmark.. along wif ayu's bf.. it was soo crowded but we manage to find seats though nt a gd view.. but quite a gd view frm d screen.. hehe... n deres tis nenek which caught our attention.. very vogue nye nenek.. d dressing... fuhhh!! i was asked to snap her pic.. *click* hah.. quite 'mendak' coz we were anticipating for their performances only.. they collaborate wif sriwana gerls.. we watched didicazli perform 1st b4 goin to d guys.... aahhh.. dat shivers came again wif one kind.. but i braved myself.. avoided dat person at 1st.. but hw crazy cud i possibly get wen i saw deen.. nt to forget abg.. i donoe y dat nite, i was kinda hyper.. den it was kinda ok wif dat person though i knew deep inside.. was my reaction obvious or was it juz u? took some pics here n dere den we went off.. nana n i joined d rest of dian-ians over at zam2 coz we were hungry n coz we didnt meet them at taman.. i was tired n soo, i went hm wif nana aft dinner whereas they went for sheesha.. juz dat half plate makes me full.. soo unlike me.. am suprised we did hv smthg to talk abt.. we chatted, laughed till i reached my destination.. coz we cnt get enuf of it, i promised an evening of breaking fast with her aft her exams..

sat n todae was spent unfruitfully at hm.. i still havent finish revising even 1 module.. n left wif mon, tues n wed... pharmaco claz tmrr... optional?

i planned for dat 5/3 2000 claz reunion.. but ive no idea abt wat we gonna do.. d venue blah3... nw ive gt nearly half hu replied.. whrs d other half... or shud i juz go wif hueve i cud get into contact wif? but it will be gd if all could come...

to d beach tmrrr....

*u read me too well.*

sorie is all i could say.

2009-08-15T23:43:00.004+08:00

fuuhhhh.... finalie im done editting tis template.. choosing a background was hectic, indecisive.. doing d collage header n figuring y its blur wen i put it up.. den getting d glitter fonts and d navigation texts etc.. i love d background n text although its kinda mixed up.. but, still cn navigate rite.. but, all done nw.. still love it to be white box..

i woke up todae in d noon n d dae started nt quite gd.. a phone call 1st ting 1st.. i knew its coming.. no suprise.. however, im glad its all been cleared although d anger/madness in u is still raging.. no more shivering n cold sweats hopefully.. i cud hv juz been ignored by u juz like dat but thnk god u chose to talk it out.. i cudnt say much though.. i was too ashamed.. but, im suprised we end it with us kinda lauging away.. i was smiling deep inside.. maybe, dats hw my bestfriend is nw.. it happens again n u advised me yet again.. hw stubborn cud i get.. damn! but ur still being patient to tolerate with it.. whereas u cud hv juz leave me.. guilt in me.. im lucky for nw to still having u here to remind me.. ive gt to start thinking, wat if u werent dere... im sorie.. still very much ashamed though.. realie sorie dear bff.. these advices n reminder, thnk u.

"newae,i just wanna say...u've been a strong person..just dat,u degil,n ikotkan hati n perasaan sngt...sumtimes u gotta reflect on reality n all...lots of things can be in ur control,trust me...

n wen its in ur control,ur gonna be even happier in life,without any hard feeling or grudges n all..

im not there all the time to keep reminding...

as a bestfriend this is all i cud say....

thinking n reflecting fer just a while more doesnt hurts u noe...

i may be here to remind u again,but maybe sumday wen this kinda thing happens n im not there,how are u gonna handle it..

still reminding u again n again,making u reflecting....

plz...do this fer urself....

be strong aite...i wish i dun have to repeat all those advices to u again sumday...

i believe ur a much more mature person than me...be wise aite...

clear it all off in ur mind...

start afresh...

im still missing u...."

till dat, im lost for words & din manage to ctrl myself.

*im missing u too*

unlucky.

2009-08-14T01:02:00.003+08:00

1am!! a few hrs of slp left.. b4 i woke out for sahur at 4.45am den to werk at 5.30am.. laz dae, laz dae.. n gonna be in d/s..

a nightmare todae.. i juz feel soo sad.. n pitied it.. it gave me a lesson...

i was observing tis procedure which d staff nurse did.. n suddenly i felt uneasy in d stomach.. i ran to d toilet n vomited.. nthg... juz water... i was fasting n my stomach had to be empty.. dat time, its still a few more hrs to breaking fast.. den i had stomach pain.. tis 'butterflies' wont stop flying ard inside.. its damn painful till im shivering.. my appetite nowadaes is very little.. i cud feel full juz by eating a bread n a cup of water.. i feel bloated if i ate rice.. i promised mum i wud still eat at hm todae eventhough im gonna be back late.. but yea, i cudnt eat.. soo, i saved it for ltr, sahur..

i tell u my mind realie wasnt at ease.. i donoe y i gt soo scared to cross d road todae.. i was juz looking left n right left n right... with dat song im listening to stuck in my head.. i alighted at bb west coz i was goin to drop by cb.. i didnt wait for 176 though.. soo, i walked slowly thru d park.. d traffic light was orange to red n i stepped onto d road.. n at dat moment, a lorry was abt to pass by me to make a turn at d junction.. i gt soo shocked.. coz at dat time, i was looking on my left.. d moment i turn to my right.. *fuuhhhh* glad im still alive.. its juz a wee bit to get knock dwn... haixx.... den i crossed d road feeling as if deres a speeding vehicle on its way...

d reunion... stressed arh.. hahah... im planning frns... 36 ppl to be in contact wif.. hope it'll b a success...

exams... 5more daes to 1st ppr... havent yet start...

raya lite up over at taman warisan... shud i or shud i nt... tough decision...

stomach hurts.. cold sweat.. nauseatic..

2am nw... 2hrs of slp..? byee...

oh ya, congrats to abg kamal ridzuan for getting a baby gerl.. hehe... yeap, i saw him at d ward.. d baby soo chubby.. cute laa... =))

*misses to Ashraf... n others.*

hold back dat tears.

2009-08-13T10:37:00.005+08:00

to werk ytd all grumpy but thnx to dat bunch...

wateve life has in store for me, i'd be prepared to face it..

Come on aliah, ur strong arent u.. ur holding on still n its gonna be a yr soon.. isnt dat great huh.. i knew u could do it.. eventhough to u its too personal, but im sure deres someone whom u cn rely on.. but damn i juz hate ur attitude aliah.. stop being soo jealous will u.. n stop getting all dat butterflies in ur stomach.. its nt worth it seriously.. n dat tears of urs, aft soo long, it wet ur cheeks again? GOSH! even if u teared many2, it wont change d situation.. so i suggest dat u just save it n hold it back.. hey, isnt he ur bestfriend? wat do bestfriends do? nw im asking u tis.. u used to ask him dat rite.. nw ur turn.. since hes ur bestfriend, u shud be hapie for him dat he has found his other half.. rite? n pray for him too.. i knoe u dont like her for certain reasons, but come on, dont tink of her.. just him will do.. u love ur bestfriend dont u... as in friendship love.. i think, u need not delete those posts or watsoeve.. its juz hw u feel.. deres no nid to be guilty abt.. y? u chose to do it dat way n nw ur fretting abt him nt contacting u nimore.. hey, be optimistic will u.. juz chant tis, "he'll understand, he'll understand, he'll understand.." or maybe hes juz busy.. ok? fret nt... ur juz being too paranoid aliah.. yes u r! ur mind isnt at ease gerl.. wif u saying all dat, its juz nt part of u.. whrs d soft side of u.. y r u being all nasty n mean? wat makes u do it.. pls ask urself.. d answer, onlie u knew.. its dere, in ur heart... u juz hv to be calm.. i suggest dat u need a long holidae on ur own again... but dont ever say "leave me alone.." i knoe u cnt survive being alone.. u nid at least some1 to talk to.. u cnt possibly be talking to urself most of d time rite... i too knew u want all dat pleasant friendship memories again.. u juz hv to change for d better aliah.. u noe it'll bcum worst if ur soo stubborn to stay tis way.. do some soul searching.. dont be too paranoid.. i leave u to make ur own wise decision..

getting ready for werk...

*wen u seem far away yet near*

Help!

2009-08-12T17:36:00.001+08:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAMN BLOODY CONFUSED & STRESSED............

help me...

if u readers out dere dont like wat i post, its okae.. its whr i post my frustrations sometimes..

but to those hu r concerned, dont worie.. i'll be fine in a few daes..

thnx..

im sorie..

Frustration makes me do it.

2009-08-12T05:53:00.005+08:00

BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT
BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

butterflies in d stomach nw... I POST WHAT I LIKE.. how long more cn i take it?? a few more... a few more... a few more..

im just here to vent my frustration... now im just hoping that 6yrs didnt exist.. if it didnt exist, den i wouldnt hv fallen in love wif u boy.. if i didnt fall in love wif u, den d arguments, dispute, break-up didnt exist..

how i wish certain post like this blogger cud make it private...

but im missing u still... it just got me thinking & thinking again...

i repeat, i post what i like.. if u couldnt understand me.............. haixxx.....

i wanna shout out loud.... *tearing*

k, to work now...

Disorganised.

2009-08-10T22:26:00.004+08:00

-post below r nt organized...-

todae marks 1yr for wearing tudung.. hw time flies but im coping well i guess..

A wk has passed being in O&G ward.. n 4more days to go.. Obs starts tmrr... looking forward to delivery suite on d laz dae for me.. seriously gynae nthg much to do.. d best xperience was to watch colposcopy.. d wound was seriously scary n 'gross'... gynae some sort very relaxing ehk.. hahah.. but by d end of d dae, still tired.. tired of all d standing n walking ard.. i made new frns too frm other grps..

tarian training in sch has resumed last tues.. aft soo long nt having trainings, muscles aching evrywhr seems like its d 1st time.. training for LA has begun.. but i miss dian trainings too.. thurs am alwaes on aftnoon shift.. aft tis wk ends, only left wif 5daes to revise for exams.. den 1wk of make-up in ward 58.. 2wks of hols.. n again 3wks in ward 61.. lastly 1more wk of hols.. fuuh... doing attachment during raya time..

im still awaiting for job.. resume sent here n dere.. haixx... kendarat sudah la eh.. hahah.. hari raya lite up on fridayyy..

im getting soo used to long bus rides.. all bcoz i took bus concession tis mth.. but i still hate taking bus though.. had to leave hse early coz bus timings arent alwaes d same.. n d traffic jams n all.. somehw its great coz it made me think abt lots of tings.. n hw i miss d times wen we go hm tgt aft training..

n oh ya.. i went for my follow-up at ENT clinic last wed.. its suprising why i cud still use my Aviva card dere n nt at d GP nimore.. i wasnt covered full though.. i rejected d doc decision to do a procedure.. instead i chose to continue putting d ear drop & come bck in 3wks time..

i want a meet up wif a few ppl whom i dearly miss soo muchh... *lovesloves*

short trip.

2009-08-02T20:07:00.002+08:00

im bck here in sg.. soo fun goin bck alone.. no one to hurry me.. hehe..

hmmm... im still awaiting reply.. i actualie applied for coffee bean bck instead of mc cafe.. those guys make me very fickle-minded and guilty.. we tapped out at bb alrdy den farhan asked me "kau btul nk apply mccafe?" i didnt ans.. n he said, "aku rase kau try coffee bean dulu arh.." den ok lor.. hopefully they accept me bck.. i need to werk.. this attachment time uses alot of money for transport.. raya tis yr is another attachment.. dreading2!! n finalie, tarian resumes tis tues in sch..

its realie a short trip.. i havent had enuff rest..

1st dae, reached melaka sentral, 2nd aunt fetched me.. we went for lunch den to her hse.. she gt some errands to run.. aft maghrib, went to 3rd uncle plc for a visit den bck to 2nd uncle plc.. supposedly wanted to watch some theatre but we r late.. so, went for dinner den they send cousins n i to grandma's plc.. i stayed dere for a nite..

2nd dae was spent mostly at grandma's plc.. also looking aft d 3guys hu were sick while 2nd aunt help out at nenek sedare plc.. i was their nurse, giving them their meds.. hehe.. d 2guys were very annoying.. alwaes testing my patience especially d little one.. aft maghrib, went over to nenek sedare plc for kenduri arwah wif d rest.. d food was nice.. we cousins had our own spot.. n we had 5plates of sweet n sour fish at our side.. it was nice n furthermore evryone were very hungry.. as usual, many couldnt recognise me coz im alwaes d quiet one.. one makcik even asked den told me to send regards to my mum.. i sed ok but i dont even noe hu she is n she doesnt seems familiar.. haha.. we left their plc ard 11pm n i head bck to 2nd uncle's plc for a nite dere.. i bid farewell to grandparents dere.. we cousins watched upin & ipin yet again till i fell aslp..

3rd dae, i woke up at 9.30am frm a dream.. haha.. i ironed my dress while watching spongebob sqpants on tv3.. i had breakfast den bathe n gt ready.. 2nd uncle had left early in d morning for his finals in a game of Petaq (Petaque).. its some game using d silver balls n u throw it on d ground.. haha.. i donoe hw to xplain.. go find out urself.. den ard 11.20am, 3rd uncle fam sent me to melaka sentral.. i gt d 12pm bus.. tis time d bus burukkk... n deres tis tv on top of me.. i hit my head hard twice.. having a major headache..

n soo, i reached hm ard 4.30pm juz nw.. suddenly feeling all weak n a throbbing headache.. im tired too.. im gonna pop in some meds soon.. n pls dont say im d same like him.. no arguments plss.. i oso feel like im gonna develop a fever.. mum still havent known dat i had to pay a visit to d neuro.. n im nt sure if i cud make it for my appointment to ENT tis wed.. dats y seriously need a job to pay for all this medical expenses.. coz dont wanna burden my parents..

i seriously feel d rusuhan/bantahan in KL is stupid.. y malays wanna do all this.. y must they support them, d opposition party? d scenario i saw on tv is alrdy like those in palestin n whrever else.. it affects many2 ppl u see..

k, watching Bahas 4pm...

& attachment resumes tmr in obs&gyn ward... urghhh!

*lots of misses to many2 ppl*

wayy excited...

2009-07-31T08:59:00.003+08:00

Gd morninggg!!!

im soo early here... haha... mc for 2daes is over n supposedly bck to werk todae.. but d teacher asked me to go hm as im coughing badly.. furthermore d ward has a lot of terminally ill patient.. so, dowan to spread it.. need nt go see doc, just write a letter... i din noe i cud just write a letter to extend my sick leave.. haha.. but she asked me to do dat.. so total 3daes off..n during hols need to make up 1wk.. i mean 5daes.. haix2... holidae shorten for me..

i was on d way hm feeling all nauseatic... stomach growling... i reached hm n was talking to mum b4 i had breakfast, juz a light one.. n i was thinking wat to do during tis 3daes before work starts again on monday n mugging for exams.. n sooo, i decided to hv a rest over at kampung.. been long since i last went bck.. furthermore grandma nt feeling too well n d cousins havin a break due to sch closure due to h1n1.. wooohooo!! n for d 1st time, im goin bck alone.... well, its nt dat far.. i dont mind.. i realie need a break.. but a long2 one ltr.. i gotta tidy up d hse n pack my bag b4 im set to go.. i donoe y im feeling all excited... hahaha.... meds accompanying me.. huhu....

n nw den i actualie rmb dat someone had went to polyclinic (if he realie go) but i forgt to ask hw was it n wat did d doc said... soo sorie... it totalie slip of my mind.. talk to u wen im bck.. probably sunday evening.. nt sure yet but its gotta be sunday... u take care bf..... hv a gd rest and alwaes slp early k...

to all nurses out dere, hapie nurses day!! (nt too late am i?)

take care readers and gdbye!!
pray for me a safe journey to and fro...

Love u!

attachment. work. sick.=sianz...

2009-07-29T17:12:00.005+08:00

this wk is d laz week of attachment in ward 58... so, mon was my 1st am shift apart frm sat.. a wkday and a wkend does hv a diff... wasnt soo bad after all.. but was very tired... leg aching as usual.. furthermore, this is free labour ok.. not paid at all this time.. n so, wats work wen all u do is anticipate for break time den end time.. of coz apart frm all d things dat need to be done; parameters etc.. i had a hard time choosing my case for casestudy.. aft werk on mon, i rushed to sch for health psych presentation.. i was 15min late.. but its ok.. it went well la but d construction of our project somehw make d teacher confused..
ystd wasnt dat tiring.. was on pm shift.. i gt to do one bgm and assist a sister in changing dressing.. i only started doing my casestudy aft my break.. i finalie decided to do on a pt hu's just been admitted for abt 2daes i tink? overall ok la.. n by nite, my cubicle is full hse.. i was going thru d casenotes till 9pm.. luckily im done taking all d necessary info.. i reached hm slightly late ytd.. i was halfway thru my research n d headache strikes again.. i had to stop n go to slp..
and so, i woke up tis morning feeling all dizzy accompanied wif 3rd dae of diarrhoea.. i slept again n only woke up at 7am.. n so, i had to miss work n visit d doc.. as usual, waited for 2hrs, went in doc's rm for 5min, pharmacy abt 15min, payment for 5min and referral for 10min.. pathetic! coz of d frequent headache, doc referred me to a neurologist.. haiz... so, in d meanwhile, doc put me on medication.. more n more meds.. n some of d meds seems foreign to me so, im gonna check it out.. n dat charcoal is troubling me.. 1/2-1hr b4 food and 2hrs apart frm other meds.. hw is dat.. means, i need to plan.. 2daes mc.. gonna be prepared for make-up again.. shagged!

i called up mc cafe bb outlet todae.. they r open for hiring.. im hapie.. so, im gonna go n apply it soon.. but they'll choose for those hu'll b shortlisted for d interview.. i wanna make it through.. wants a job badly.. birthdaes, holidaes, shopping etc...

k, some long2 overdue photos frm heritage fest '09..(ignore my small left eye, it was sore dat time)

*i want to accompany but u wont let me.. hmph!*

Throbbing.

2009-07-27T00:32:00.009+08:00

its alrdy 12.30am.. n im on am shift ltr, 7-3.. need to wake up at 5am.. but im nt yet aslp.. y? coz i havent done my script for ltr's presentation.. yes, finalie health psych presentation is on todae aft much postponing.. i spent half of my sunday resting, watching tv, eating, sleeping... coz sunday was the only day left for me aft making up on saturday due to MC..

now i knew how im gonna handle a cubicle on my own.. coz for d past attachments, i alwaes hv a partner.. n i dont deny its much tiring... since its am shift, deres a lot to do till lunch time.. d nurses were nice, asking if i understood during d passing of report.. i swear my legs were aching terribly.. n by 10am, i started feeling dizzy and nauseatic.. before dat, i've visited d toilet twice coz i had diarrhoea.. veryy muchh in pain on my left side of d head.. easy said, headache on d left side.. it hurts soo muchh, i cud barely endure.. vision blurred a lil.. all i cud feel was dat someone is like squeezing my head hard.. throbbing pain.. i juz cudnt take it as i nearly fainted in d clean utility.. but i make myself strong n cont... n wen it strikes again, i went for my break.. suddenly i had no appetite.. i slept for half an hr in d staff rm.. wen i woke up, i told myself, i gotta eat.. i opt out my antibiotic.. i felt muchh better aft dat.. but it wasnt for long... it came again an hr b4 shift ends..

den aft werk, i head to bugis to mit mum by bus... errghh.. hate taking bus as usual.. mum bought more 'kain' den we had late lunch n head hm.. initially upon reaching hm, i wanted to slp, but i didnt.. i was juz lying dwn n wen i woke up, d pain came.. n ive been getting it frequently since i had otitis externa/media, sometimes switching sides.. i need painkillers wif me now.. haiz... is this bad? i shall see 1st.. meds.meds.meds..

talking abt meds, ive been missing out my antibiotic for 3x alrdy.. same goes for my ear drop.. 2times a day n 3times a day.. i didnt manage to follow dat.. poor2 thing.. haiz... wen cn i stop taking all this meds? im tired.. too dependent on it?

k, many2 hrs bck.. we had a mini celebration for bro hu turned 18.. he went out wif his gf 1st den in d evening, dad recite some prayers n we ate.. i had went to wm wif mum n bought a simple mini cake frm polar n kfc.. he gt a choc fudge cake frm prima deli, a shirt and a box full of tidbits, all frm his gf... nw, wat do i get him?

im taking too long to blog tis... i havent finish my script n calculating my fares for d mth of aug.. am contemplating whether to take train concession.. coz im taking more of bus coz of attachment.. hmmm.... n shud i save up for smthg or shop?

gd nite readers!

He turns 18.

2009-07-26T16:28:00.003+08:00

Hapie 18th Burfdae!!!

You've turned a yr older..
Hope u succeed in ur studies & all the best in ur future endeavours..
May God bless u & live life to d fullest..
I love you!

PJT '09

2009-07-25T23:37:00.004+08:00

i missed out watching them for the competition, Persada Juara Tari '09 due to make-up for attachment..
all i could do is to watch their videos..
wooohooo!!
i would like to congratulate them all...
all of u did a great job..
well done pplz!!
so, d boys clinched 5th place while d girls clinched champion.. also best performance..
and congratulations abg ain for getting koreographer harapan..
d dance moves were great eventhough it wasnt a gd view for me...
once again, CONGRATULATIONS everyone!!!
keep it up~ *thumbs up*
and good job to all others who participated..

gratitude.

2009-07-24T23:28:00.000+08:00

helo again...

so unlike me nowadaes to blog most of d time.. n again, im here coz something made me do this..

i donoe y eh.. i alwaes hv this feeling to blog wen im frustrated deep inside... matters of the heart that matters.. understood? no.. no... nobody does..

k, wats d diff btwn being angry and being sarcastic? maybe my words seemed as though im angry but it could also be seen as sarcastic.. i had alwaes think first and be careful with my words.. when i gt frustrated, i cud just type out any comment or watsoeve w/o even thinking... if i delete it aft dat, means i realised it.. if nt, i wont even realise.. n pass few wks, i gt soo used to talking to myself.. coz i understands myself.. i cudnt possibly forced others to fully understand me... in wateve situations, self comes first.. BUT, when i typed dat i just want to be seen as one of ur frns hu cares.. haizz...

i donoe if i dont care anymore or dont gv a damn abt it or juz plainly dowan to think abt it.. prolly the last one perhaps... im just too lazy, too tired to think abt all this... i alrdy knew things doesnt go as wat we planned... but all i want is just u in times of crisis... no doubt abt this.. i shared most of my probs or stuffs with u.. nobody knew me too well xcept u.. yeap, my bestfrn... haha.. i treasure d frnship.. "Friends are those rare people who will ask how you are and then wait for the answer." thnx for being dere when i do need u.. eventhough thats d only thing u cn do.. thnx too for all ur concerns... *appreciated*

clinic. hospital. meds. =(

2009-07-22T22:34:00.005+08:00

When some things get me frustrated, i decided to blog..

k, lets hv a quick update frm start of tis wk..

ohh... before that... i had a show in conjunction with heritage fest at centrepoint last sunday.. 1st time my mum and bro see me dance.. it was just ok laa coz d stage was small and its like very cramped.. pics up next time ya..

Attachment has officially begun on monday.. dreaded.. posted to a medical oncology and haemotology ward.. d staffs n nurses dere r greattt... we had to wear mask.. i feel soo suffocated.. wats more with being in a natural ventilator cubicle.. hehe..

im supposed to be on morning shift ystd and today.. ystd i went to polyclinic to hv a check-up for the condition of my infected ear.. waited for 2hrs for my turn.. theres no more pain but doc said its really very bad and straight away refer me to ENT AH.. he told me that its alrdy Otitis Media, no longer Otitis Externa.. and soo, it actually has spread to the middle ear.. wahh... that bad huh.. i was prescribed with a strong antibiotic, Augmentin.. he wanted to gv me an MC for ystd but i refused, instead he gv me a time-chit coz the teacher wants evidence that i went to the clinic.. 1st time im declining an MC.. i collected my meds at pharmacy, make payment and all n went to get my referral letter.. but its alrdy 12pm and my folder is still not down yet.. so, they said they'll call me since im starting werk at 1pm..

got a call while werking and excuse myself to answer it.. AH & polyclinic called me to confirm if i can make it for my appointment which is today.. again, i had to change my shift.. i had to go to polyclinic 1st thing in the morning to collect my referral letter... and i reached AH exactly at 11am.. i was very nervous while waiting.. coz in times like that, nobody was there to accompany me.. and reminiscing the last time i was there for a day surgery.. i already felt like crying coz i was scared.. i dont know what the doc will do.. will he/she do a procedure or what.. and seeing the nurse carrying some kind of a scope adds on to my fear.. fuuuhh~ i was thinking and thinking and startled when suddenly the doc called my name.. wahh... seeing all the instruments makes my heart beat faster... soo, no procedure was done.. was soo relieved.. i was adviced by the doc: NO more swimming, NO more water sports, NO water must get into the ear and DONT dig my ear for this 2wks.. swimming postponed again.. and this time, i didnt decline the MC.. i gotta be prepared to make-up on a saturday... on medication now and need to go for another check-up in 2wks to come... but the Augmentin gives me diarrhoea.. errrrgh!

gotta sleep real sooon... on aftnoon shift tmrr... and ICA presentation for health psych today was postponed yet againnn.... get well soon yana~!

past.

2009-07-18T02:34:00.001+08:00

the past hurts..

soo muchh..

lots..

job. money. license.

2009-07-14T14:54:00.009+08:00

halo dere...all tis pics r givin me prob but all settled nw.. n tis ear of mine is still d same.. seems like deres no progress.. or is it true dat it'll take weeks?? its very troublesome wen d people at hm talked to me n i'll go 'huh?' for twice den i gt wat they were sayin... n they became fed-up.. one of d drugs is givin me gastric.. dont likeee.... i gt my MC ystd.. yup, dad called d clinic up n explained evrything.. n so, i only paid d recent one i went.. nid nt pay laz yr's oct one.. great its settled.. w/o MC, i cud get debarred frm exam coz HS2132 attendance is very poor alrdy... reasons being i overslept or on MC.. but gettin MC for todae is of no use coz deres no sch for my claz.. n im skipping dian training todae coz im still muchhh in painnn... but no worries, i cud still perform on sunday =).. presentation coming up for d nxt 3daes.. n for stats, ive yet to finish up d skin n header.. hope to get it done by todae... but c hw... soo many things to do yet soo little time... heehehe...

As a result of goin to private gp, im broke... coz ive used up most of my pocket money.. tis is badd... everytime i planned smthg, sure smthg gotta be in d way... n so, i decided to werk.. but coffee bean dont want to hire people like me back... y ehh... haix.. i tink i wanna werk mccafe.. i dont care hw muchh is d pay as long as i gt some xtra moneyy for myself.. n hv i told u dat i wanna get my bike license b4 my nxt bdae? yup2, gonna go for it... so, gotta get a job soooooon..... n farhan was telling me ystd dat he planned for us to hv a photoshoot at a studio, hes d photographer.... wooooottts! coool! hehe... kk, till here... ive planned out wat to do todae, so got to be on track... was thinking of revamping tis blog.. hmmm...

i miss dear bestfrn.. =(

(click pics to enlarge)

Out wif d beanies [040709]..

'Jemputan' [110709]..

its my 1st time wearing d tudung lyk dat..

Long2 overdued pics...

*thnx for d short memory of happiness my frn, u'll alwaes be remembered n appreciated.*

Ok. Confirmed. Otomycosis.

2009-07-12T23:15:00.009+08:00

here i am again.. like i said, i cudnt bear d pain any longer rite... i went to d doc.. b4 dat, mum took a look into my ear using torchlight.. she sed its surrounded by some white thing, cudnt see deeper coz its blocked.. compared to d right ear, its red n normal.. i tot d clinic i usualie went to is close.. but its open n closes at 8pm.. its alrdy 7.30pm.. so, i rushed to pray n gt ready.. i cried while waiting for my turn.. seriously, its damn painful.. i was told todae is a male part-time doc.. k la, fine.. i went in, doc took a look in my ear.. n he saes its badly infected.. but he sed its nt d middle ear but d ear canal... k, tis may sound gross but ya, dats wat im experiencing.. he says its fungal ear infection.. also known as otomycosis or otitis externa... imagine, its caused by fungus! eeewwwwww..... nt sure of d sources.. i read up on this too... some extracts...

"Otomycosis is fungal infection of the external auditory canal." - yup, d doc said its external coz wen he pulled my ear, i felt pain.. "Otomycosis is a chronic recurring mycosis."

"The incidence of otomycosis is not known but it is more common in hot climates and in those who indulge in aquatic sports." - in my case, definitely nt aquatic sports.. hmmm, hot climates?

"Factors that predispose to otitis externa include absence of cerumen, high humidity, increased temperature, and local trauma, usually from use of cotton swabs or hearing aids." - maybe true..

"The typical presentation is with inflammation, pruritus, scaling, and severe discomfort." - YES!! severe, severe, severe discomfort...

"Suspicion of fungal infection may arise only when the condition fails to respond to antibiotics." - but, its alrdy fungal infection.. hopefully, it responds to d antibiotic prescribed..

"Clotrimazole and econazole drops are very effective but may be needed for 1 to 3 weeks." - i was prescribed wif clotrimazole ear drops (broad spectrum antimycotic with fungicidal action).. n WHAT!! weeks?

..."taking care to avoid excessive moisture by not going in the water, and receiving appropriate medical or surgical treatment for otitis externa." - i will frequently put d ear drop n eat my meds regularly.. cnt go into water? i was planning to go swimming sooon wif bestfrn.. faster heal plss...

read more here, http://www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/40001641/

i din expect it to be tis bad.. ive eaten my meds n put 3 drops into d infected ear.. eventhough i was told to put only 1 drop... i was also prescribed with naproxen n ranitidine.. even so, im still in pain...pain...pain...

smthg happened at d clinic.. i was asked to pay $42, nt $5.. its $5 coz im covered under Aviva.. but juz nw, i was told dat im no longer under aviva as im above 18.. i din hv enuff money wif me n only paid $15 1st.. n so, my MC is put on hold.. cn only get it tmr aft i settle d payment.. but dad gonna call up d clinic.. longg story, but let me shorten it... d lady told me they tried calling me on 4nov08 to informed me dat i cn no longer used my Aviva card.. but i was told dere was no ans frm me.. n my laz visit dere is on 29oct08.. n juz nw too, they claimed another $20 frm my laz visit.. they donoe hw to call me again is it...wait for me to come again den tell me n asked for payment??? n y is it, wen i came n present my aviva card, they donoe hw to check 1st or informed me again...?? if so, i cn juz cancel n wait for tmr n go to polyclinic... n d doc is a male part-time.. i was called in 3times.. 1st, he checked my ear n tel me blah3.... n he went to get smthg, i donoe wat.. wen he came bck, he said they hv run out of d ear drug.. k la wateve, i juz nid smthg to relieve d pain.. den i waited outside.. within 5mins, i was called in again.. he asked me abt my hearing.. n i told him i cud only hear wif my right ear... yes, im partially deaf.. tis doc no gd... den he checked my ear again... by d time, i was cryin, no more hiding tears.. d doc asked, "ur crying bcoz of d pain is it.." alamak doc.. of coz laaa.... i waited outside again.. den he called me in AGAIN... he told me they gt tis ear drop n will prescribed it to me.. k la, better wif ear drop rite.. "do u need MC?" i sed ermm, tmr? "ok, i'll gv u tmr n d day aft..rest at hm.." best laa... k, dad gonna call d clinic up coz of d payment.. its nt my fault.. its theirs... oct payment, nw den want to ask for it?? incompetent...

*bcoz of this painnn.... i answered rudely to bestfrn.. sorie dear.. so, pressurized... thnx for understanding.*

Sorie if soo wordyyyy....

Otitis Media.

2009-07-12T16:28:00.004+08:00

I cn no longer bare d pain.. its nt d usual pain im experiencing.. its damn painful now... so, i gotta hurry n see a doc mayb tmr or wat... yeap, i guess, cnfm its otitis media eventhough it occurs mostly among young children.. but, it cn oso happens in adult too.. yeap, its d inflammation of d middle ear.. i wonders if its serious n tis is wat i read frm tis site.. "Yes it is serious because of the hearing loss it creates... It is also serious because it can cause severe earache and because infection can spread to nearby structures in the head, especially the mastoid." Yup, so true coz my mastoid feels swollen too.. yeap, i cnt realie hear properly.. i cud only depend on my right ear.. i cnt cough, sneeze, burp or even eat properly.. i cnt open my mouth big.. it'll just affect d pain... ='( but, "otitis media is not serious if it is treated promptly and effectively, and the hearing can almost always be restored to normal." I think im gonna develop a fever soon... i cud only hear ringing in my left ear n oso vibration.. its superrr irritating.. im nt sure hw i gt it... d causes are... "Acute otitis media is caused by bacteria (or viruses) that enter from the nose or throat and ascend the eustachian tube to reach the middle ear. This occurs when the eustachian tube is not functioning properly, often because it is inflamed from a cold, sinus or throat infection, or an allergy attack. Infection in the middle ear causes earache, a red inflamed eardrum, and a build up of pus and mucus behind the eardrum. Sometimes the eardrum ruptures and pus drains out of the ear. But more commonly, the pus and mucus remain in the middle ear because a swollen, inflamed eustachian tube cannot open up to let it drain naturally. This is called middle ear fluid or effusion or serous otitis media, and it often becomes chronic, that is, it can last for weeks, months, or even years after the acute, painful part or the infection is over." the symptoms im having is earache, associated with a feeling of pressure n blockage in d ear.. this hearing loss is TEMPORARY... tmr im having presentation.. hw am i to go to see doc 1st ting 1st.. soft diet for now..

below is a pic of whr is d mastoid.

otitis media?

2009-07-10T23:58:00.002+08:00

Like alot to update like dat...

but am tired..

plus photos nt yet editted..

many2 tings to do..

hehehe..

n todae woke up swollen in d left ear..

hearing rabakkk.... pekak sblh..

erghhhhhhh!!!

otitis media??

bck tmr...

nitez!

this feeling im feeling sucks.

Selling. Denim Vest.

2009-06-29T01:13:00.010+08:00

Amy's vest frm Mascaradafesta.

2 functional buttons, adjustable at d back.

colour close to this pic..d thread or wateve u call it is nt a defect..
diff piece has gt diff sites of dat..lyk unique la as told by previous seller..
no stain or watsoeve..worn twice lightly before..
its more of denim washed light blue-yellowish...
vintage kind n its nice..pre-loved..
decided to sell coz somehw i find it unsuitable for me nimore..

so, selling it at a cheaper price to wat i paid for..
$18..
feel free to enquire aniting...
thnx for viewing..
pics credits to mascaradafesta.
can contact me thru nike_yellow@hotmail.com

SOLD!

thnx....

It matters.

2009-06-27T23:51:00.010+08:00

Its starting again.. but y? i thought i would be able to conquer it.. im strong inside wasnt i... i always hv this feeling of crying whenever i talk/chat with u.. i dont talk much now.. whats stopping me? no answer.. am i destined to suffer again silently? pls.... im too weak for all this now.. im tired.. y cant i just get over it? what must i do.. n yes, definitely trusting my instinct.. n yes, it happened.. expected, i know one day.... i dont know wat decision to take.. what action to take.. im deeply confused.. everything seems complicated.. its hurtful yet again.. should i pour out everything here?? well, maybe not all.. haix.. im stuttered for words.. loving u like ur not anybody's.. missing u like u were somewhere far overseas.. hugging u like ur gonna be mine forever.. kissing u like theres no tomorrow.. gazing at u always looking for an answer to my doubts.. am i treating u the right way? sometimes im guilty.. guilty for being too close.. is it wrong dear? *tsktsk* the way u treated me? the joy seems to disappear.. what about the feelings? arghhhh!!! im still within my limit.. controllable... with all this happening, one day, i might just go crazy... ok, all this mths, ive been trying very hard to move on, to cont my life as per norm.. as a girl, daughter, sister, aunt, student, dancer, grand-daughter, niece, friend... i would say i succeeded but came to a halt now.... at one time, i love u, another, i hate u... at one time, i wouldnt even want to answer ur call but i did everytime... at one time, i want u... at another, i still want u... by my side.. i tried my best not to disturb u during ur off days.. i tried my best not to contact u when ur outside.. i tried my best not to view ur profile.. n i cant stop the feeling i had when i visited ur blog n click on the 1st 'heart'.. i tried my very best to hide all those feelings lingering in my heart.. i chose my qns carefully before i asked them to u.. i think carefully before i joked around with u.. am i doing too much? no, ive never complained... ur on my mind 24/7, do u even know that.. i know all this stupid stuffs are unnecessary but at least i feel much better typing this out (but maybe not).. n im sorie, i know tolerating with me is hard.. u understand me very well dont u... im missing many things we did.. the most is talking on the phone for hours till late nite where we shared almost anything, talked about probs we faced or even planning a holiday for fun (haha.).. but its stupid how small matters can lead to an argument den a small fight.. i feared when it happens.. coz im just too paranoid n will think that ur very angry that u wont even bother abt me anymore.. but when u did call, im grinning from ear to ear.. can this 'friendship' be salvage before its too late?? i dont know why im worried too much about this.. maybe bcoz u matters to me.. some will say im stupid! yeap... sacrificing.. when am i gonna face d facts? all this reality. . . .

u r slowly fading a-w-a-y . . . . . or am i just thinking too much..?

some ppl dont deserve having a gf/bf.. the limit is still there..

im a stubborn-headed girl in despair..

*good memories will be kept, bad memories wont be forgotten*

i know u read, dont be angry.

Misses.

2009-06-27T13:45:00.002+08:00

Inspiration come, inspiration go...

Its disappointing on how im gaining weight each n everyday this holiday.. yes i am, very. been rotting at home with the 3 Ts like dad said.. tdo, tv, telefon (hp) + internet.. let me add one more.. tidbits! loss of words for projects.. is prednisoline d same as prednisolone? prednisoline cant be found on MIMS but prednisolone can.. however, the indications seemed not to match.. how to get going u tell me.. holidae extended for only a week.. pathetic. i want more. after ICAs done, attachment coming up.. & i very much want to perform for gendrum.. Life is boring now..

Its the same routine everyday.. nope, i didnt go out.. woke up, bathe, eat, tv, online, window shopped-sites, slides, tv, nap, eat, games n d same list goes on and on.. no more late nite chats/talks too.. but still, i end up slpg at 2am+.. things changes.. many things changes.. no company like i used to have everytime i needed one.. ppl with gf/bf r busy dont they?

I missed E very badly.. i guessed its abt one yr plus alrdy.. is she drifting apart bcoz ive changed my image? our plan to meet up will end out being cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.. but still, i alwaes rmb her.. n do follow-up at her blog.. we used to be just classmates n be in the same ccas.. we started being close wen d ppl in class became enemies with her.. i dont mind.. from den on, we shared many things n she was dere wen i went thru a very hurtful life.. thnx gf n i miss u alot!

I missed H very badly too.. i alwaes dont say it.. it amazed me ystd how u cud tell how bored i am with the way i replied ur sms.... no more long talks till late nite, no more hanging out, no more sharing, no more jokes.. everything seems to be gone.. no more time spent.. the only thing to do is just kept quiet and be patient....

why am i being emotional now eh.. *crying*

ok, gtg...

Atrika Danz Fest '09

2009-06-23T13:56:00.006+08:00

i noe...i noe... been damn2 long since i last updated.. its juz plainly lazy.. i shall juz start frm tis very recent one.. was involved in atrika danz fest '09 wif other dian dancers last sat at kolam ayer cc.. yeap2, my 1st show wif dian.. so, laz wk, training has been very hectic.. almost everyday.. very tiring.. was anticipating for d dae wen it all started out wif a bad news. . . .

i was in d bathroom wen mum asked me to hurry up coz dad had an accident.. at dat moment, tears trickled dwn like running tap water... i thinked hard... dat instinct i had few daes b4.. i juz had d feeling dat i'll b delayed (we had to gather at 12pm near d cc).. n wat not, i knew its gonna involve a fam member... im starting to trust my instinct frm nw on.. but alhamdulillah, dad was not warded..

aft which, i rushed dwn to kolam ayer cc whr i reached at nearly 4pm... perspire like crazy.. lost my way.. skali bile smp, abg nk tgk kite practice using d stage.. fuhh... k, we r d 4th to perform eh.. nt dat nervous though.. haha... n small mistakes here n dere.. abg sed gd show! =D den head hm by bus wif hady.. pics self-taken coz d guy was busy talkin on d phone like i din exist... hahahahah!!! =P

tarian training ltr.. n LA audition too.. I DONT WANNA DO THIS!!!

meanwhile, enjoy d video..

Senyum ikhlas indah terpateri

Bunga dihias hiasan diri

Lenggok Si Manis tampak berseri

Susunan langkah makna tersendiri

Sebuah Ciptaan Abdul Yazid Juhuri, Pereka Tari & Pengarah Artistik, DIAN Dancer.

credits to abg rizal. =)

MCG masquerade & Movie Combo camwhoring.

2009-06-01T01:56:00.000+08:00

This are VERY3 overdue pics..

MCG committee step-dwn & step-up of new ones..-Masquerade [190509].

Some pics in sch wif MCs & lunch at KFC.

*more pics soon..

sleepy week.

2009-05-17T22:21:00.001+08:00

havent been updating since May started... so, hello readers.. ive a few posts as drafts.. but i dont tink im publishing it coz its realie overdued.. n oso dont tink ppl even wanna noe wat i was up to... nie smue case type skit den mls nk cont smp la sekian lame... w/o further a do, i'll start off wif tis wk.. haha.. lengthy! n lets make tis colourful.

sch has been pretty tiring wif classes mostly ending at 5 or 6... n all lectures has been 20% of payin attention n takin dwn notes... 80% is mostly dozing off.. its juz awkward y i cnt stay awake successfully.. ive tried all d time.. but its always like i was soo into d topic den w/o knowing, my eyes started shutting.. even if i slept early d nite b4... haixx2! i did my lab make-up on tues coz laz fri i was late for an hr.. n its realie my 1st time doin practice standing for 2hrs.. usualie wen im nt doin hands on, i'll sit dwn n see others do.. their relieve lecturer is soo annoying! i wasnt late for dat 8am make-up claz.. a pretty much tiring tuesday for me.. frm 8am-10pm..

i head bck hm straight on wed.. its a norm dozing off in trains... n been umpteen times too i missed my alighting stn.. means instead of alighting at bkt gombak, i'll alight at bkt batok.. but i owaes try nt to make it obvious.. else i'll b embarrassed.. haha... n dat day too i had my navy uncle visiting us.. his ship stopped by sg for 5days..

thurs was a long day too.. had sch ending at 6pm.. aft which had dian training as usual.. i skipped stats lect coz B says mit at 5.15pm.. i reached dhoby ghaut nel n decided to wait for d 3rd train to board.. n so, i reached boon keng exactly at 5.15pm.. i noe he wont b on time.. but i din expect dat till nw, i still hv to wait for an hr?? at dat point of time, i felt soo restless wif stomach rumbling.. yea, we had our meals b4 training... as usual, my anger lasted for awhile only... kan kan kan?? =) training as per norm den mini celeb for may babies... 11pm, i decided to bus-ed hm wif B...

fri, during lab practice, i was asked to do ngt insertion n feeding using d kangaroo pump... seriously, its like an exam to me.. i was nervous like hell n any min, i cn juz start crying.. but i didnt.. was pissed off actualie wif dotdotdot... i havent finish sayin, she cut me.. n she do asked obvious qns? was vry relieved wen its over.. *phewww* had tutorials b4 sch ends... social pschy was interesting whereas research meth is boring... aft dat we had camwhoring session.. den i went off to mit bro at dhoby ghaut.. aft which met mum n we had early dinner over at mad jack.. aft stomach has been filled, we head to orchard for some shopping..

ytd... whole day was spent relaxing, fb-ing, gaming etc2... out of 7daes in a wk, 5 for sch which den left wif 2wkends... if i go out for dat 2daes, wen will i ever get to rest man... so, i dropped d idea of goin shopping... todae in d mornin i had a companion.. haha! thnx... late noon was out to apartment den to geylang to shop for some tudung.. n nw, doing some hmwk for tmrr... seriously dont feel lyk goin for d stepdwn tingy on tues... started studying for theory lab only abt 1/4? d more i shudnt go rite... tarian practice tmr.... long day yet again..

my post for 12th may is yet to b done!!! must. must. must. =)

some pics below..

"Hidup tidak selalunya indah tetapi yang indah itu tetap hidup dalam kenangan."

*more pics in nxt post*

gd nite!

dotdotdot.

2009-04-30T23:31:00.001+08:00

had sch for only 1hr n afew minutes... frm 4-5+pm.. no other claz earlier at all... eventhough it started late, i'll still leave hse later.. but luckily, i was on time to tap my card... aft sch, i head dwn to boon keng to mit hariz.. i wanted to fill my stomach b4 training... yea, had dian training... nt many turned up as usual la... im still on d wedding repetoir... stucked here n dere.. abg wanna test those new ppl nxt wk... hopefully i manage to get d steps n sequences right... aft training, lepak with abg, abg izwan, ayu, elly, hariz & deen.. den went off ard 10.45pm.. hm sweet hm by train... =))

mcg orientation.

2009-04-29T23:51:00.002+08:00

MCG orientation for freshies was held on d 29th April 09.. it was held over at nursing blks..

we sure had a hell lot of fun...

Mau race pe?? Maut...maut...maut...

So, let pics do d talking yea...

*more on FB or multiply site*

ANDAYU!!! Hepi2 laa...~

...

2009-04-27T23:23:00.001+08:00

heyo! sch was frm 8-2.. all lectures n an hr break.. its lyk 20% im listenin to d lecturers.. another 80% is slpg.. didnt plan it.. juz suddenly dozed off.. hahah!! yea, nt enuf slp.. i slept at 3am u see... my eyes was juz too heavy to remain awake... =P k, since i hv gotten my pay, i tot i cud get some stuffs for myself.. aft sch, i went town wif yana... we seriously toured d whole of orchard.. frm heeren to paragon to far east to borders to wisma to taka.. n i wore slip-ons n i swear my leg is damn painful.. i couldnt make up my mind of wat to buy.. so i din get niting frm far east.. k nw i shud juz forget abt dat niceee gallaz shoe.. den which shud i get nxt? an everlast, kappa or vans shoe?? mayb nt kappa... d everlast nt bad.. d vans is a simple one yet nice... im talkin abt white shoes.. like seriously in need of one.. i bought a travelling monopoly for bro n a l/s top for myself.. i gt some pics to upload... but i guessed nxt time yea...

of quotes n quotes.

2009-04-26T23:42:00.004+08:00

Sooo.... i did went out todae.... ahhaha....butt juz cnt sit still at hm... went out late ard 5.30pm.. i went to get keys at d apartment.. den to PS... i actualie wanna shop... maklum la, da dpt gaji attachment NUH.. hehee... i juz checked online n its lyk since fri ive gotten it... soo, i wanna buy clothes at cotton on but drop d idea.. went into ripcurl.. n tis pair of gallaz shoes ive been eyeing is goin at 70% off.. ur goin to pay $11+ instead of $39... but *tsk tsk*... dont hv my size.. i shall try other outlets if they hv them... den went into roxy.. i shall nt get another flip flops.. they dont hv wallets... but at d same time, i shall save.. waiting for my may xpenses n my lil pay frm mum... den i bought kfc n head to mount e hosp.. ate at ward 13 visitor's lounge... dat gerl is soo cute cn.. she hugged me wen i came n oso wen i wanna go off.. but shes mischievious... kids.... tmr sch starts 8am-2pm.. i tot its gonna b 5pm lyk laz wk.. any plans babes?

Moving on wif life... coping real hard.. all ashraf werds r fresh in my mind... wateve he sed is true Aliah!!! its gd wen u cn confide in a guy.. at least somewat u cn noe their views... wat guys tink n all.. "d ting is nt to juz forget d matter... but u hv to definitely believe in urself again n start afresh.." insyaallah~ throwing away d stuffs or burning it or watsoeve lyk he sed wont solve niting... n violence wont solve niting either eh abg... haha! will it come to a point whr i'll b evil n kurang ajar?? i juz feel lyk doing it u see... astaghfirullah... sesungguhnye ALLAH S.W.T. tidak ajar utk berdengki atau membenci dgn seseorg itu.. i noe evryting is wrong abg.. tapi inilah lumrah manusia... haixx... n lyk i sed, i dont gv a damn nimore....... da tkde makne nk syg2 sgt sesuatu bende tu... c la wat i'll do.. aft 6daes of nt wearin it, todae i decided to put it on... lyk hu cares.... its my present n its smthg dat at times will make me smile... nthg i cn do.. all i cn is to carry out my promise to ashraf... n i learned smthg... "wen u want to promise, u nid nt sae 'i promise!'.. its hw d phrase is n hw much d person means it wen he sed it.." d part whr we argued abit.. hahah.... dumb sehh~

"u cn noe a person for 10yrs, but dat doesnt mean u really noe d person inside out n fully understand him.."

-all quotes r quoted frm Muhd Ashraf Salim-

~~love story of years has ended.........~~

club crawl.

2009-04-26T02:57:00.000+08:00

its soo stuffy despite being in tanktop n shorts.. i was abt to shut dwn tis laptop but den i decided to blog todae itself.. its 3am... ya, i noe... tis wk is all abt reaching hm as late as 12am.. yea, frm mornin.. evrydae either 11+ pm or 12am.. glad mum dad understood.. pardon me for tis lengthy post.. ive uploaded pics on fb n multiply b4 i went out.. its nearly 200.. n was shocked wen i gt 60 notifications aft i gt bck n go online.. its all abt them tagging themself or others or even commenting... haha.. i was lazy to tag evryone u see...

NYP club crawl '09 for 2 daes has ended.. our booth vry nicee...! =DD was nervous at 1st but im getting used to performing alrdy i guessed... 1st dae... aft dat, i went off wif ayu, elly, nadia, nadya n zin to marina food loft for dinner.. all were vry hungry alrdy.. aft dinner, we walked frm marina to bugis to burn it off... haha... i swear its far ok... den they were vry hyper.. singing all d way.. we actualie accompanied ayu to tepak to pass her cam to elfi.. den we lepak at kampong glam cafe.. d tot of cafe make me goes, "wah, aircon.." haha...although i saw d plc b4.. coz was perspiring alrdy.. "1 coke.. 2 coke.. coke oso.. make it 4 coke.. another coke.......(laughing).. ALL COKE!" its hw we ordered d drinks.. haha.. apparently cudnt make up our mind of wat to drink.. we talked alot.. n i gt bombarded of personal qns.. i dont mind.. but thnx korgg.. went off ard nearly 11pm.. n its my 1st time getting on a laz train.. yea, was lucky.. 2nd dae... during performance i wasnt like focusing.. i lost count of d steps.. =( we ended late as dere was a short GM regarding debrief of club crawl n MCG orientation.. i planned to go for dian training as i oso hv promised hariz.. its alrdy 8pm aft evrting's been packed up n stuffs.. if i were to go i will reached like ard 9pm? n training ends at 9.30pm.. soo, i decided nt to go... sorie ehk hariz... den kite2 had dinner at sch macd as evryone's tired... those hu were nt wif us on wed gt asked d same personal qns.. haha... best per!

fri, OMG!! i fell aslp half-way thru bio lect.. im like damn sleepy la.. i donoe y.. i woke up bt juz cnt keep my eyes open.. org da semangat seh at d start... it ended early soo we sat outside LTK b4 heading for tutorial.. n i slept again... haiyo! tutorial was like 15min onlie? den head to MCG rm.. i played games on my phone n gt sleepy.. i was waiting for nadia la.. we went to return d costumes at kampung.. upon reaching, its closed! but we left it outside.. hopefully its safe.. den we went to met some of d dian dancers at bugis.. we ate at tong seng den to mosi cafe.. they sheesha-ed.. i oso want to.. hahah... i juz listened to their stories.. haix... r/s?? hell man! den suddenly i gt bombarded again.. repeated myself.. n of coz its d same advices i gt la.. d truth n dare game.. i had a gd laugh.. especially d dares... kekek siol... i went off wif elly ard 10+.. only to reach hm ard 11+pm.. shagged!! they r juz great ppl to hang out wif... den, talked on d phone wif some1 till 4am.. i was alrdyy slpy.. i lost... thnk gdness im abit satisfied.. though i still feel DAMN3 BLOODY UNFAIR.... soo fucked up! nthg for me to elaborate further!!!!!!!!!!!

todae.. finalie met up wif ashraf.. soo glad.. cudnt feel even better.. he fetched me aft maghrib n we head to holland v coffee bean.. i missed dat outlet.. d werk, d ppl, d fun bt definitely nt d bad memories rite.. lyk duhhh..! its alrdy hot n he insisted on sitting outside.. aper lagi... smoke la.. thnx for d treat.. we had a talk.. 1stly is all abt his life, more to werkin life.. im dumb abt business.. but nw i understood.. =)) den he brought up d topic of my 'r/s' n i was alrdy shivering.. n its soo embarassing to me.. for d 1st time i cried in front of him.. usualie wen i confide in him abt my probs, im strong.. suddenly he told me dat we go to another plc.. soo, i told him dat i wanna get a drink n sat dwn.. soo, we head to petrol kiosk to get drinks n choc.. den to mount faber park.. its jam packed, no plc to park... soo we juz sat smwhr, whr deres no ppl? im quite relieved aft i revealed my probs to him.. nt direct but smhw he noes.. i trusted him of coz.. i noe im nt wrong in confiding in him.. i tried being brave.. n thnx for nt judging me in any way... he wud owaes sae dat evry probs has its solutions... i will picked myself up frm tis pt of my life.. i promised u.. n i'll remember wat u told me.. i wont disappoint u.. i noe u care.. im realie thnkful for having him.. yes, my one n only abg sdare.. eventhough we r closely-related, we rarely contact.. but i do concerned him n he wants me to alwaes be fine n nt seeing me being sad... in short, wants d best for me.. i cnt repay niting... i'll owaes pray for his success... *ehem2* promote skit.. so ppl out dere.. if u all intend to do a webpage wif ur own domain, mayb a blogshop or revamping it, buy laptops or repairing it, juz get to me.. his company is nt a big one... but nt to worie, they offer services lower than market price... definitely nt lower by $10, $20 rite.. dere r packages for webpage design... spread d werds orite...!! anything can asked me... hehehe.... part-time in d future mayb... klakar pe..! thnx once again abg! sygg sdareku.. we went off frm dere wen we saw police car... haha.. y? its his reason.. =))) shall nt say y la eh.. i reached hm at 11.45pm.. wateve it is, aliah da sedar abg...

shall i stick at hm n rest on sunday or go out? anybody wanna watch 17again lyk sooonn? n i want a hang out againnn!!!

thnx glory for takin d pics during performance... n i tink i shall start revamping dat claz blog of mine.. wat shud i do? hrmmmm......

cnt wait for MCG orientation on wed.. station ICs...

d rest of d pics r up on my fb n multiply.. feel free to grab them..

http://imfussy.multiply.com/

sickly.

2009-04-22T01:20:00.006+08:00

alrighty....tis shall b a short n simple one.. its 1.20am... arghh... lab lesson starts at 8am! todae nthg much.. starts at 12pm.. lunch.. dont feel lyk eatin but bought kway teow goreng wif nuggets n d usual 'honeydew' ib.. its more of rock melon.. but i ate little.. soo unlike me nt to finish my food.. wat happen?? i guess my stomach is only full wif water, water n water... =( den it was juz goin frm one plc to another.. helped khyri out wif d survey tingy.. den went to sports hall to help them abit for club crawl which starts tmrr!! den as usual had practice.. todae wif costume, blue n orange.. nicee.. den hm swit hm.. k reached hm ard 11pm.. den blah3.. juz finished my polyclinic assignment.. which i dont tink its even graded.. but im juz being a gd gerl.. n thnx jolene for waitin.. geez~

oh.. i was running late juz nw as i onlie went out frm my hse ard 11.20am.. i took d lift wif tis old man frm donoe which floor.. wen it reached 1st floor, i saw d post-lady dere.. i rushed out n was abt to walk fast.. d old man was behind me.....

post-lady: do u live 5th floor?
old man: no..
[i heard it n turned bck]
me: ya, i live 5th floor..
post-lady: 455? (door num)
me: yes..
[den she showed me d slip i had to sign]

wheeeeeeee~ i received my parcel alrdy.. dats wat i like abt reg mail.. it only took 1dae.. thnx mascaradafesta.lj...

n ppl, nyp mly dance, indra nila kirana will be performing for 2daes during club crawl event.. soo, do come dwn n support us.. our slot at 4pm for both daes, wed n thurs... i noe its quite late but do come... hehehee~ fellow nyp-ians, do join us!

felt sickkkk..!
facebk IRRITATES me like seriously!!!
more of adding to my anger..
AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

poorly controlled.

2009-04-21T00:41:00.005+08:00

*tersemat segala keperitan di balik senyuman itu*

1st dae of sch reopens.. its soo crowded.. hrs of lectures.. 9bks in total.. *faints* i brought bread frm hm but bought food in sch.. cnt finish.. i tink my stomach doesnt feel gd.. vomitted.. *ewww* but realie doesnt feel gd.. all d rumbling sound... but nt bcoz of hunger... coz i do feel full.. oh nvm.. forget it.. =( tarian practice aft dat.. i do feel pressurized.. i noe im a beginner but im juz tryin my best.. d best dat i could.. i gt soo freakin stressed dat my mind suddenly tot of smthg else n i broke out... but thnx nadia, feeq n a few others hu cheered me up.. n i was seriously entertained by d entertainment of feeq, badar n ruth... den it was 2 rounds frm d top.. we did better.. haix... took time to chnge n went off wif fitz.. damn heavy la.. 4 in bag, 5 in hand.. journey bck hm todae feels so short.. but its juz embarassing.. seketika air mata bergenang di kelopak mataku.. sesaat sudah, sebutir mutiara jatuh membasahi pipiku yg gebu.. but i was in time to wipe it off.. poorly ctrlled.. haixx.. den it was 'bukit gombak'..

polyclinic assignment still nt done.

that i promise u?

hati yang kau sakiti.

2009-04-20T00:07:00.002+08:00

Hati Yang Kau Sakiti - Rossa

jangan pernah katakan bahwa

cintamu hanya untukku

karna kini kau telah membaginya

maafkan bila memang kini

harus kutinggalkan dirimu

karna hatiku selalu kau lukai

tak ada lagi yang bisa ku lakukan tanpamu

ku hanya bisa mengatakan apa yang ku rasa

Reff:

ku menangis membayangkan

betapa kejamnya dirimu atas diriku

kau duakan cinta ini

kau pergi bersamanya

ku menangis melepaskan

kepergian dirimu dari sisi hidupku

harus slalu kau tahu

akulah hati yang telah kau sakiti

repeat *

repeat Reff

ku menangis

harus slalu kau tahu

akulah hati yang kau sakiti.

surviving.

2009-04-19T22:39:00.004+08:00

*d only one dat goes dwn my throat n into my stomach*

i didnt slept laz nite..

juz tossing ard..

till nw havent get any slp..

tmr start of yr2 at 8am..

many2 lectures..

xcited for pharmacology... =D

ending at 5pm..

tarian practice in d evening..

bad day todae perhaps..

laze ard in bed wif donoe wats on my mind till 3pm..

get up to bathe den bck to bed..

no breakfast, lunch, brunch.. nthg!!

i danced in a small open space in my rm..

self-satisfaction..

i had a fall..

knocked my head hard..

y cn i still rmb tings?

isnt it gd if i lost all my unpleasant memories or couldnt recognise some ppl..

decided a mit up wif ashraf nxt wk..

i nid him badly!!!

seriously cnt wait...

dinner?

juz a bottle of vitagen..

no appetite at all..

hopefully i cud still survive..

if nt, juz call 995.. thnk u!

yeaps..

get them all bck.. i dont nid those!!

can i go bck to my old lifestyle, fashion, evrthing??

feelings.

2009-04-19T02:40:00.007+08:00

i noe its 2.40am nw.... some tings juz bothers me soo much.. i guess ppl r keeping tings frm me.. they dont wanna help me... good start--> i guessed wat i concluded frm tis 2words is gonna be right.. yet aft soo long, i shed tis precious tears of mine again... all bcoz of u.. yes u! [i guessed i shall nt update tis nw.. be bck!]

yeap!!

ANGER.

HATRED.

STUBBORN.

EVIL.

DENGKI.

SAKIT HATI.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

butterflies in my stomach.

go out frm my mind?

2009-04-18T23:32:00.008+08:00

*take urself out of my mind plss*

writing tis post wif mixed emotions yet again... mostly anger, hatred! but i shall put all dat aside furst.. briefly wat i did past daes/wks... been busy busy busy... yea, attachments ovr but dance is nxt.. had trainings for seg orientation performance.. n so its ovr too held on d 14th april.. we took hrs to get ready... but den we performed for abt 5min only?? oso had trainings for club crawl which is comin up on nxt wed n thurs... we doin jawa kipas dance.. its tiring bcoz of d techniques? all d 'rendah2'... but d dance is superr interesting... 3daes of intensive trainings.. abg ain came dwn on mon n by wed, evryting's done.. nxt wk juz nid some polishing up.. yup... thurs as usual had dian training.. learnt jawa too.. i went off quite late.. had a chat wif deen.. thnx! reached hm at 12am... ytd went to help mum out.. but it seems lyk i did nthg coz i was late.. didnt join yana n que for FnF 4... went hm, helped mum baked pizza... todae, out again.. its great wen ur ezlink has train concessions... u travel evrydae as though ur fare is free... went to mt.e hosp to pay a visit.. oso waited for mum.. den a walk ard orchard for awhile den to bugis.. i wanted to go n watch WDA to support them diandancers but didnt... oh ya, ytd nite i blogshopped... n i bought a vest frm tis LJ.. hurhur... 23bucks wif reg postage... below some overdue pics...

*strawberry is nice*

*my 2nd choice, 1st i wud prefer chewy's quackers*

*n tis is soo nt niceeeee.....its like biscotti dats soften.*

*home-made pizza*

*tis is wat happen wen im bored goin hm alone wen its alrdy LATE at nite aft dian's training..*

*waitin for mum to choose d kain she wants*

*wif suhanah*

*SEG orientation performance*

*thnx arul for d poses*

*thnx ct for d photos*

lethargic.

2009-04-16T00:28:00.003+08:00

helo guys n gals....

its lyk soo unlike me not to update for vry long time nowadaes....

but am realie dead tired wif intensive trainings for club crawl nxt wk..

update more hopefully soon..

bubbye!

last week.

2009-04-07T19:00:00.004+08:00

since laz wk was a dread wk, i hope tis wk wud be better.. upcoming seg orientation performance on nxt tues.. been awhile since i laz danced for shows... so, am looking forward to it.. still unsure wat item we'll be dancing.. nt sure if deres sufficient time to learn a new dance..

i helped mum out on sun at sophia cres.. at least i noe dat if i helped, i'll earn some amt.. w/o hesitation, of coz im helping her out sincerely.. pitied her dat she nids 2 jobs nw.. well, maybe its nt bro's luck for d maritime scholarship... hweve, we do noe dat deres still hope for SP scholarship.. n i shopped at PS cotton on for l/s shirt.. n i gt myself a new pair of shoe for attachment.. u noe those pumps.. nthg xpensive.. maybe nt yet.. hehe..

ytd was d start of final wk for attachment.. hw happy cud i be.. wen we only hv to werk 4daes due to gd fri.. ytd my cubicle for once was vry noisy.. lots of mly patients.. they were nt seriously ill so they had a chat across thier beds.. i was entertained while doin werk... haha.. but sadly, they had to b discharged.. in fact, 5 of my patients.. so yes, todae i knew i'll see new faces.. 5 of them.. n oh, its soo quiet nw... imagine all were slpg during lunch time.. ya, wat else cud they do besides dat? todae i was occupied wif stuffs.. din do any sponging.. all d time was bz wif hrly/2hrly para.. until i gt mixed up.. but luckily, no mistakes made.. n i was taught quite a num of tings by tis nurse.. nt sure if shes SSN/SN.. im online early todae whr actualie i shud b takin a nap 1st den wake up n finish up my case study.. on mornin shift again tmr.. yea, i changed it due to kenduri n dance.. i felt abit relieved aft lunch juz nw.. coz i was feelin bloated since ytd nite.. i ate too much; fried rice, arrabiata frm pastamania n plain bagel frm coffee bean... in fact, i spent alot on food ytd.. so yes, to save up, i din bring any money to werk todae.. but still im feelin abit bloated.. im too tired.. 2 more daes... endure!

i went to Perdaus to pay my fees juz nw b4 i went hm.. im nt sure wat to do.. they encouraged me to cont my study dere... im watching suria news nw.. its juz sad dat d food poisoning case is bad.. till one died.. i was asked if i ate d rojak at geylang serai by tis indian patient of mine.. haha... =) tink nw i shall finish up my case study... hopefully.. coz cnt get my eyes off all tis drama on tv3.. n ya, i finalie gt to noe dat tis movies online was juz being relinked...

-2nd laz dae tmrrrrrrrrrrr....-

1st wk.

2009-04-04T23:20:00.003+08:00

hola peeps! k, tis post will juz b wat ive been up to for tis wk.. been few daes since i laz updated a proper post... ive been busy u see.. im soo damn tired wif tis attachment goin on.. tis time it sux... really! so, i shall nt comment on niting.. but for sure is dat my feet wont stop hurting.. i donoe whr to start la.. im soo lazy... on morning shift tmr.. came bck frm msia laz nite.. if cn i wanna stay longer.. i donoe y nw i alwaes feel lyk stayin dere.. nthg much.. went dere to attend a wedding; family-related la.. recently i've been goin for dance prac be it in sch or kallang cc.. yea, no matter hw tired i am, no matter hw my leg is killing me n no matter wat probs im facing currently... n im loving dian training.. i alwaes tried hard to rmb all d steps.. ya, bt nt d sequences.. laz mon, went out wif d m.c.. we caught confessions of a shopaholic n chit-chat ovr dinner at far east.. movie was ok.. funny too... all were tired xcept cherlyn.. nxt movie i want to catch is 17 again starring zac efron.. wen i reached hm, its frustrating.. lecturing n getting scolded... hell man... but thnx to one person for listening to me eventhough ur half-way thru ur slp.. tues was tarian in sch aft soo long.. but i wasnt in d mood.. seriously... im sorie to those ppl.. bkn aku tknk duduk dgn korg.. tapi aku juz nid a time on my own.. ya, maybe korg tk knl aku sgt.. but sometimes i do feel dat i donoe hw to fit in.. im realie sorie.. klau korg nmpk aku cm g2 lain kali, means aku tgh realie dwn... apologies.. wed was my only aftnoon shift for dat wk.. hate it.. coz u'll b left wif nthg much to do xcept parameters, feeding helpless patient.. thurs went to help mum at sophia cres.. d hse was great.. gd ting is i'll get paid by mum.. nt dat alot but enuf for my xtra xpenses.. den i head dwn to dian training.. met wif hariz at boon keng stn.. we reached cc ard 7.45pm.. but den, nt many turned up.. stress ehk, tkle ingt sequences... fri was finalie d end of 1st wk in hosp.. den straight to msia..yeaps! den nw here i am updating... below r some pics taken on mon.. d rest wif yana, hv yet to receive them..

"d person hu hurts u is d person hu loves u d most."

busy busy busy.

2009-04-02T23:56:00.000+08:00

i will be back sooooonnn........

BUSY BUSY BUSY!!!!!

Attachment....

Dance....

n im leaving for Malacca again tmr aft werk..

juz 2D 1N..

but still, miss me k.. hehe... *muackz*

polyclinic ends.

2009-03-28T22:14:00.003+08:00

*taken last yr*

Finally. Polyclinic attachment ended ystd.. But how i wished deres more of it.. its soo FUN... especially ystd.. k, we were only assigned to rms for morning.. aftnoon was debriefing and presentation.. so, we were in DRP rm.. nurses dere gerek pe.. learnt alot2.. slacking most of d time, laughing.. was amazed at hw d nurses cud speak dialects to d patients.. i meant mly nurses.. kecohh pe! kite cm pening g2.. hahha! had lunch at usual coffeeshop.. aft lunch was presentation n debriefing.. i was shivering.. y? coz i was scared n cold.. we had to start off first coz d other grp had probs opening their slides.. hell ya, nervous!! but we did fine though.. but im soo obvious showing my nervousness.. d sister was kind to give d other grp a chance.. we were then released earlier.. oh, im missing polyclinic attachment...

Earth Hour.. yea, supported.. haha! mcm paham... gonna learn hw to play d guitar soon.. mon attachment starts at NUH.. n tarian training resumes on tues in sch.. yahoooo!!! pang yan agreed to change shift wif me.. thnx gerl.. mon finally getta mit up wif d usual frns.. we shall catch a movie n hv dinner.. im having headache calculating my expenses for tis mth.. it seems dat transport fares is over budget.. todae i had a cut ovr on my knee.. all bcoz of tis table.. hurhur.. niwae, i shall start doin fitness bck.. soo concerned since evryday i weigh myself at polyclinic.. ish3...

its been a mth.... *soon*

nitez peeps!

of tiredness & sleepiness.

2009-03-26T23:50:00.001+08:00

im sooo depressed nowadaes.. having a great headache!! many tings to do for tmr.. but some nt done yet.. journal!! bloody hell me... im juz frustrated at donoe wat... glad i'll b goin away again?? i feel lyk quitting evryting dat im doing.. i wanna cry!!!!!!! somebody be dere??

im soo freaking slpy rite nw.. n bloody tired!! i went for dian training despite d tiredness n sleepiness.. coz i juz nid those.. but seriously, i realie cnt rmb most of d steps.. lyk nthg went in.. i juz reached hm abt 1/2 an hr ago.. n nw im in front of lappy updating tis blog of mine n reading up slides for tmr's presentation..

tmr marks d end of attachment at polyclinic.. hw i wished deres more.. although its boring as we cudnt hands-on.. but we sure learnt alot of stuffs.. n had fun? yea, fun pricking ourselves.. i guessed nw im no longer scared of being pricked wif 'dat' ting.. aftnoon time is vry slacking as deres nt gonna b many patients.. ytd was like a slpg dae.. we were assigned to tis rm but d SN was givin a talk on diabetes in mly.. so, we sat in n listen.. listen for awhile.. den fell aslp.. haha! nthg new for me uh.. den it was at traveller's clinic.. imagine Sister is talkin to SN n im behind, cn fell aslp while standing!! k, but i din fell.. n dats nthg new to me too.. todae had fun talkin n talkin.. we decided nt to go for d talk during lunch.. n i gt to observed PAP smear being done.. a fast procedure.. bt its lyk OUCH.. time passes vry fast n tmr is d end.. so far, din encounter any prob wif d staffs or patients..

im dead slpy nw.. my eyes is lyk half closed.. but i cnt slp juz yet.. journal only half way thru n my part for d presentation nt prepared yet.. hate tis man... somebody help me!!!

i need some1 to talk to........... =(

nitez! its 12.35am.

tired.

2009-03-24T23:11:00.005+08:00

gonna slp at 12... shit la!! journal not done... mum's bankbk nt photocopy yet... asthma project not even halfway through... y mum's bankbk? coz i lost mine n nw i dont hv time to do a new one.. so, gotta use mum's for d polyclinic to pay me.. i cn use mine..but coz they nid d front pg to verify, i cnt.. time passes soo slow in d morning.. todae i observed all those babies getting their immunizations n observing hw they do d referrals to hosp etc.. i was damn early today.. i reached cck bus stop at 7.15am.. tmr shall go out slightly ltr.. n otw bck, im owaes slpy.. tired too eventhough did nthg muchh... i tink im soo used to waking up at 3pm... hahaha.... tkde org nk amek aku balek ke?? ... im slpy alrdy.. tmr will b attached to care mgr rm n traveller's clinic... hopefully its nt dull.. im tired. really. nitez!

& oh.. shall i go for d st.john gathering dinner tis sunday..?? elaine goin n i miss her..

*still missingg u*

attachment.

2009-03-23T22:38:00.006+08:00

i shall update. not abt holidae juz yet. lazy. bt hardworking to update on other stuffs. k, tis juz happens.. refer below:
i nid a pen torch for attachment, so dad bought one for me.. i brought it todae but did nthg wif it....

dad: kau buat pe dgn torchlight tu?
me: tadi tk gunekn pn..tapi utk check mata . . . . . (sentence nt yet finish)
dad: kau check mata org dgn torchlight tu??!!!
me: nape?
dad: blh buta tau org tu!!
me: tapi tadi tkde check pn (seriously)..
dad: org kedai tu pn da ckp jgn shinekn kt mata..
me: oh....

den he told mum.. bro laughs his bloody ass off at me.. hahaha... but luckily its cheap..

k, so todae is 1st dae of polyclinic attachment.. cck it is.. wat an unlucky dae... i left hm at 7.15am & reached bus stop 5min ltr.. b4 dat, i saw 985 went off.. so, i missed d bus alrdy.. waited.. tot in another 15-20mins time, bus will come (inc. peak hrs).. *tik tok tik tok tik tok* 7.47am, STILL NO BUS!! im lyk soo scared coz its d 1st dae.. its nt gd to leave a bad image for urself.. punctuality!!! i decided to take cab.. yes!!!! n dere goes my $6.50.. waited for nearly 30mins... gongggg..... tmr muz go out early.. my hair looks short in pony tail.. n deres no more curls..save up money n perm again.. hehe.. attachment ppl all gerek2.. todae is mostly orientation n presentation on tis n dat.. i was attached to rm14/15/16..dat is emergency, treatment n dressing rms..i wasnt alone.. =) we had lunch ovr at mac.. azrin was dere for his make-up.. soo random, he asked me....

azrin: d hosp sent u eh?
me: huh? sent me, u mean?
azrin: u previously EN rite??
me: haha...i noe im old but im nt an EN..
azrin: eh? but u looked familiar..

den we talked abit here n dere...he blurr sotong la.. saw me many times alrdy otw to gombak mrt to sch still say he nt sure.. dushhh...

*****

rindu di hati masih blum terubat kini.... ntah bile la ia akan terubat.. hehee... really3 x a million, a billion, a zillion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! only dat one person noes.. i donoe y la tis few daes im alwaes bingit.. asik nk bingit jek... *box myself arh*.. n since dat dae, now i feared wen i checked hus online on msn/facebk... =\ *thup dup thup dup* goes my heart... yea..all kinds of sounds here..hahaha... but dats hw i feel... sometimes i feared goin online..

nitez ppl!! tmr another dae at polyclinic... *muackz* to dat person...

last day.

2009-03-21T13:51:00.003+08:00

hello peeps!! missing me?? hahaha...on holidae n still blogging..

i dont feel like goin bck la cn.. it feels soo great, wif cousins here.. we went out almost evryday... its all abt foods.. yeap.. eat here n dere.. realie juz a short post.. oh, internet connection here lagging.. still goin bck todae evening... soo, till i reached sg....

lots of misses...

toodles*

results.

2009-03-17T23:58:00.007+08:00

taken at one of d shops in haji lane.. *feeling2 my hm*

my face is vry ugly i guess.. wif not enuf slp+d cryin+d 'pedih-ness'.. aft soo long i cried.. like great to do dat.. hehe.. so, tis maybe will be my laz post b4 i go.. lets b colourful..

ytd i tried to slp ard 3+.. as usual, tossed ard here n dere.. cnt realie slp bt still cn dream.. weird2.. *shakes head* tis time round slight diff only but still for d same cause.. get wat i mean? i oso donoe hw to say it.. haha.. so, i woke up to d call of B.. called him bck, talk2.. bad start of d dae for me.. but, i cnt hv it my way.. i hv to understand his situation.. but still, i want it.. BUT, i still understands.. =D den, straight away went online.. wah! tis time d result is realie at 8am.. nt even 7.59am.. d first ting i did is to scanned for 'F' grade.. to my suprised, don't have la..!!! woots! i managed to pass all.. even for bio!! eventhough most were average.. didnt manage to get A for basic mandarin.. but i gt a B.. satisfied enuf.. slight improvement from 1st sem.. hopefully more improvements in yr 2.. hapie enuf dat i cud spent d remaining holidaes w/o tinking of supp exams.. & CCS, B+..? meaning, research bks frm lib ARE useful.. hehee.. glad my frns passed too..

enuf abt results... todae i went out ard 2pm in hope to collect lens.. reached cck 2.15pm.. nt a sign of d person.. guess i was late.. so, its fine.. my frn dont nid it asap or wat.. but, wen i gt hm, she did pm me dat mine is in d nxt batch.. so only nxt wk cn collect.. phewww~ nt a waste of fare as i want to go lot1.. to cotton on, nthg to buy.. to aries, nthg.. to billabong, nthg.. in d end, feeling rich, i bought gummies.. shud hv taken more.. coz bro ate alot n left me wif little.. i bought ock too.. mainly food as im damn hungry, havent eaten wen i went out.. i oso bought a brown bag.. but online.. tmr collecting it.. still left wif a few bucks, wat to do... save.. but i juz feel lyk goin shopping.. so, aft dat i left to mit mum at bugis.. to arab st. again in search for kain again.. d weather was freaking hot man.. den hm swit hm.. first ting i did is to bump onto my bed.. coz i havent had a slp!!

k nw, actualie im supposed to pack my bag.. leaving at 2pm ltrr... coming bck on d 21st nite.. dont miss me ppl.. but i miss these bunch of ppl soo much.. some random pics below.. wen i come bck, left wif sun to rest den its d start of attachment..*dreads*.. tc ppl! & hv ffuuunnnnn!!!!

movie combo.

d guys frm my claz.. d one wif kappa shirt is lecture mates..

cbtl peeps.

'juniors2 of i.n.k.' our vry 1st performance.

playing some games b4 performance.

nadirah. miss her lots.

elaine. miss her lots too.

still a frn.

till nxt update.. nitez!

bag-packing~~~

closing dwn.

2009-03-17T01:42:00.004+08:00

it sucks... yea.. it realie does.. i just wished to shut everything down.. frm friendster, to facebk, to myspace, to blogger, to msn, to photobucket, to evrything that ive an account... shall i shut them down..? no connections wif anyone.. no one will know my life.. in short, all kept to myself.. is dat gd? but i still wanna blog eventhoughh only few read them.. ah hah! mayb i shud make it private or switch to lj.. geez... laz nite i didnt slp well.. i guessed my eyes were shut but i cn still think wen im slping? woke up wif a weird dream.. d name lingers ard in my mind.. tried goin bck to slp.. bt still, it distracts me.. chose not to believe d dream.. its like a sign.. i donoe wat.. weird tis kinda things.. couldnt figure it out.. sorie if nowadaes i blogged abt tis kinda stuffs.. juz feels its not d real me..

results till nw nt out yet.. so, wen it says 8am means 8am.. no midnite.. i juz checked again.. it says, "your results are not out yet. pls try again...".. but supplementary class & d exam timetable r out.. i wonder hw if i fail CFC & bio.. coz if i fail CFC, supp class is in late noon on thurs..if i fail bio, supp class is on fri mornin.. means i cnt go bck to malacca.. maybe can after dat but will only be a 1 day stay.. haix...hopefully i dont fail bio.. i donoe hw tis gonna be but no matter wat, i still wanna go bck.. promised aunt for cake-baking for mum's adv bdae celeb... nvm, lets wait till morning, 8am.. im sure at dat time, my phone will beep..

& to tis person, juz sorie.. ive nt been picking up ur calls, returning ur calls, giving excuses for outing, talking to u in a rude way.. but it all juz irritates me now.. y muz u come bck..? i tot ur alrdy gone for gd.. da lame kau diam, skrg carik aku balek knape.. aku tknk ade kene mengene dgn sesape pn.. sekian lame kau diam, aku terfikir yg kau nie bknlah seseorg yg blh dijadikn kwn.. kau pernah hasut aku.. tapi aku tk termkn la dek hasutan kau tu.. kau tipu aku.. kau hutang aku tapi tk tau la kn blh dpt balek ke tk.. jumlahnye mungkin sikit saje tapi sgt bermakne bagi aku.. kau bknla sesape yg aku harus lupekn begitu saje tentangnye.. aku fikir kalau aku tk angkat panggilan kau, kau tkkn telefon aku lagi.. tapi sangkaanku meleset ye.. bagaimana harus ku terangkn pada kau.. suatu hari... akan tiba..
PS: mhbm, jgn terase..trime kasih.

yessa!! frm now on, i shall dumped evry single one of my thoughts, feelings or watsoever here.. heck care wif wat others wanna say.. i felt relieved once again wen i did tis..

just thoughts - random.

2009-03-16T01:16:00.012+08:00

i noe its 1.16am rite now.. n im supposed to b sleeping.. n tis laptop shall rest.. but, i cnt seemed to shut tis eyes of mine.. hv been tossing ard in bed for hrs.. thinking alot ehh.. so, decided to blog again.. my throat feels painful.. difficult to swallow.. & till todae, i still couldn't manage to find my old navy tote.... donoe y past few daes, ive alwaes been having d urge to find out hu dat person is.. but still, i managed to control.. yeap..dont find at all.. or shall i say, dont even try to.. it will only bring u down even more Alya.. dont need to be soo busybody can Alya? [sure2!].. haaha... decision final though.. its funny when i read bck all those msgs, emails, letters & looking at all d gifts.. frm all way bck to 2003.. my fav is still one; d purple bouquet & d sec sch photo of u which u din manage to get it bck.. =P.. i want more bouquets, [tk tau malu ehk].. memories, memories.. well-kept.. did u? =) memories, memories.. misses them.. =( kk, its like funny+happy+sad+angry+disappointed.. a mixed of many2 emotions la.. been nearly 7yrs knowing u n alot3 of things had happened.. & still im brave n strong enuff to go thru all dat.. n did survive.. but nw, am i still strong like i used to? hv been asking dat to myself.. a little smthg cn change my mood/mind.. y am i reacting dat way? too sensitive wif everything now? ask my heart & my mind.. tired wif evryting? dont tink so.. if nt, i wont even bother or care abt u now.. we do need one another.. [i guessed?] for support, for encouragement etc... at one point, i love u.. at another, i hate u.. at another, i love u again.. maybe sometimes i dont respond to wat u said.. but, i do believe in u.. i do trust u.. i realie do hope ur not betraying it.. i still rmb hw i used to say dat i can always feel wats goin to happen or wen ur hiding smthg frm me or wen u gt smthg to tell me or wen u lied to me.. i have super-powerrrr.......... woooo!! haha.. k, serious.. no, its juz some feelings i'll initially get wen, ya, lyk wat i mentioned... sometimes, i'll even hide it coz dont want to questions or watsoever.. & i just cant hear d word 'Sorry'.. it is d hardest word but i tend to forgive.. as i hv a kind heart n no grudges hold.. but some things are hard to forgive yea.. even it is so, still i wont hold grudges.. sometimes i wished i could forgive but tis time, its hard to say it.. understood? im still not prepared.. i wished i could stay long in malacca, away from all tis.. but due to attachment which gonna starts soon, i cnt.. it did occur to me to run/hide frm reality.. but hw long will i b able to do dat? 1mth, 2mths, 5mths, 1yr? come on Alya, its reality!! u r living in d real world, not some fantasy islands or fairytales whr u cn changed it.. it'll eventually still be dere no matter wat.. its end of tis wk.. we spent lesser time n talk lesser tis wk.. i understands very muchh.. sms? i rather not msg u.. unless i really need to.. same goes with calling u.. only wen u asked to.. u shud noe y.. its 2.25am now.. wow! it took me lyk 1hr+ to type tis not-so-long post.. been long since i laz said tis.. iloveyou. i miss you.

im keeping my promise to u strong.

& not to forget, i also miss combo fams.. i shall name them.. i sooo miss yana, que, glory, gloria, liping, ashley n cherlyn.. till we meet again in some outings..

for now, im feeling abit relieved.. n i guessed i shall pop in some flu pills to get to slp..

of all pains.

2009-03-15T20:49:00.007+08:00

i havent been feeling well tis few daes.. often woke up wif warm body temperature.. sore throat still not healed fully.. & i juz gt another pain.. my gum hurts.. nt sure if its swollen or wat.. but i cnt chew hard food.. or smthg lyk crackers.. it'll hurt.. my cheek bone hurts too.. i juz gargled salt water.. derefore, i alwaes tend to wake up in d noon, ard 2pm.. latest ard 3+pm.. haha.. vry bad i noe.. ive been fixing my own meal past few days.. its like addictive.. alwaes tinking of wat to cook/bake/fry... soo bored tis holidaes.. havent been goin out.. i wanna go jp, lot 1.. managed to save some money tis mth.. bestnye! i soo want to watch bloody valentine again.. eventhough scared.. but, nobody tells me d ending.. so, wat do u expect.... & today i find dat d kain i bought looks lyk those bimla nye baju bile da siap.. eeewww!! i soo dont like it.. so, im hoping to sell it to my cousins or aunt.. if nobody buys it, i shall make it into kebaya instead of kurung.. *errrrgghh*

sakura

2009-03-13T22:55:00.005+08:00

Where shall i start ehk.. k, tues meet-up wif elaine was cancelled.. wed was out wif fam to sakura int'l buffet at orchard.. it was mum's treat.. i went out early wif mum to arab st. to buy kain for baju raya.. we gt ours.. 1st tym i bought lace kind.. since dad is fussy for his type of kain, mum didn't choose.. so, aft dat mum n i went to mit dad n bro at orchard shopping centre.. den, ape lagi.. enjoyed all d foods la.. to my disappointment yet again, deres no mushrm soup.. instead, i had 4-5 bowls of shark's fin soup.. bile pusing2 tk tau pe nk mkn, shark's fin soup jgk aku amek.. im craving for mushroom soup!!! we reached dere ard 12pm den we left at 2.30pm.. d whole of d lunch buffet time.. haha.. den we head to al-falah for zohor prayer.. since mum gt no time nxt wk & all d kain2 nid to bring bck to kampung, we decided to go bck to arab st.. tis time wif dad n bro along so they cn choose themselves.. dad n bro decided on grey colour.. den we part ways.. bro went to werk.. for me, i went to sch.. had gm & tarian meeting.. i reached yck mrt so damn early, 5.30pm.. but still, i waited for mas n suhana.. yes!! i waited for them for 1 hr.. hehe.. juz dowan to go alone.. so, i dont mind waiting.. starting frm dat pt, i was having a real bad flu.. off to sch blah3.. gm was abt club crawl n d committee.. tarian meeting was juz abt hu cn perform for club crawl n some kind of company dinner in may.. i tink i cud commit for club crawl practices..

ytd, eventhough nt feeling too gd, i still went for dian training.. they had mini celebration for march babies.. ramai jgk ehk.. ade org tu feeling plak bdae die march.. training was tough.. had to learn some realie lembut moves.. ade test lagi.. gosh!! tk pernah2 tau.. den, bus-ed bck hm wif him.. outing wif him has been postponed.. =D

2009-03-09T22:12:00.007+08:00

hello peeps!!! hahah... =))

soo bored ehk.. couldn't find any suitable pics to upload here, to brighten up tis post.. nvm.. wat did i do todae? aft so long, i didn't slp bck aft dawn.. errr.. nt dusk rite? y.. coz we talked on d phone.. den im nt sleepy nimore.. d start of d dae is funny.. i guessed so dat he'll misinterpret d previous post.... bahaahahahaha..... hehe.. *peace* so i decided to wake up, on my laptop & play minicar racing.. mum wasnt feeling too gd, so i accompanied her to shenton clinic.. she gt 2daes mc.. meaning, shes nt werkin for 3daes including wed, her off dae.. i realie hope sakura wif fam tis wed is still goin on.. & i constantly asked her if she had taken her meds.. wat to do... nurse-to-be la sehh... todae im kinda xtra hardworking.. yupp... i tidied up d house, especially my room.. but, i still donoe whr to put my presents.. they r still wrapped, in the big roxy ppr bag, on d carpet.. *mcm syg nk gunekn brg2 tu.* =D k, its like d whole of 5a3 r invited to joyce's 21st on d 21st march.. bt her bdae is 22nd.. its been long since we had a gathering.. but too bad, i couldn't make it as its confirmed dat i'll only b coming bck on that day.. but still unsure when im goin.. either 18th, 19th or 20th.. & great news is that, suprisingly, class outing nr0827 will b held as planned tis time.. going to pulau ubin on d 18th april.. like FINALLY!

& Hapie 19th Burfdae Nadia !!!

&& IM SOOOOOOOO MISSING YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-03-08T23:47:00.004+08:00

Everytime u called, i always wanted to ask u....

i need confirmation plsssss....................(again)

*its just amazing how my mood changes fast*

sunday.

2009-03-08T21:45:00.003+08:00

a day like sunday, when u've got nothing to do, when boredom strikes, food becomes the companion. yea... besides playing games, facebook, blah3.. i've been munching.. i went down to the shop to buy some stuffs which mum told me to.. & when u didnt even went out, u'll still spent.. yes, food.. its great when there's a bakery near u & its HALAL.. n its also great when all breads are goin for a dollar.. so, i bought 2 breads n jacob's craks cream onion.. yana introduced it to me & im loving it.. even dad, when he tasted it for the first time..

nxt wk plan, out wif besties? hmmm.... since i got nothing to do at home this few days, i've been listening to Siti's song, joget menanti kekasih to go thru the 1st dance i learned in dian.. & to correct the new steps since i didn't really get it right.. its fun.. haha.. how is it fun niwae...?

im quitting spib soon.. yeap! bt im missing them eventhough we didn't really talk, but all the group works we did, the debate, craps from the guys.. and yup, farisha rosli! but how sad, i can't continue the class.. really can't.. sometimes i wished i could.. sha even offered her help.. but sorry, i couldn't accept it.. she wasn't there when it was my last day.. & i've yet to settle everything with the office.. soon maybe..

during this holidays, im counting down to result day on 17th March & the start of attachment on 23rd March.. i doubt i'll pass all.. im sure i need to retake some modules.. just wondering how my basic mandarin result will be.. & im sooo dreading attachment..

sick.

2009-03-07T19:14:00.005+08:00

todae...

since ytd was dwn wif real bad flu...

so todae, im dwn wif fever..

body aching all ovr..

onlie to wake up ard 3+ pm..

still tired frm sentosa outing..

bdae itself wasnt a great celebration..

loved ones wasnt dere..

bt i appreciate evryting frm d combo fam..

hweve, still looking forward for more wif besties..

nxt wkkk.........

for nw,

i wud lyk to sae a million thnx to all hu has wished me frm all kind of sources..

& to combo fam,

thnk u alot for d presents..!!!

i love all of u!

20th Birthday!

2009-03-06T23:13:00.000+08:00

6th March 09...

WOOHOOO!!!

Hapie bdae to u..

Hapie bdae to Alya,

Hapie bdae to u..

Ive officially turned 20...yeaps..=)

howeve, i was dwn wif a real bad flu..i totalie had no plans..bt ard 6pm, mum asked me out..juz to eat..so, we head to west mall..smwhr near..juz a short n simple one..went wif cik nor n her children..we ate at kfc coz i wanted it..donoe y...tk pernah2 aku nk g mintak kfc..den we head to ar-raudhah for maghrib..den walked bck to wm..since we wanted ice-cream, we had them at swensen's..n its my bdae, so tot cud get d firehse..bt den, d person sae it'll b replaced wif an ice-cream ck..i sed ok..bt, d person cut d cake into 6..wtheck seh...shud ask furst rite..we oso ordered some sides..in d end, im d one hu finished evryting up...damn full so we took away d cake..i gt a balloon too...hahaha....aft dat, we headed hm..for 3 consecutive yrs, i owaes had a meal at swensen's...n owaes end my bdae wif food...

thnx to mum for evryting...

*d rest on facebook/multiply*

Sentosa

2009-03-05T23:52:00.000+08:00

Been looking forward to tis dae to spend tym wif them..its a disappointment yet again..only d 5 of us cud make it..

we met ard 10.15am at harbourfront stn..den we head to giant to get drinks..aft dat off to sentosa taking d monorail..by dat tym, d weather looks realie gd..coz we were all worried if it rains..we settled at palawan beach..first thing we did is to eat....d food we brought doesnt seem manyy...bt still, we cudnt finish them up...some had to b thrown away coz nobody wants to bring hm..aft eating, we had a few rounds of uno..den we played ard wif d ball..bt seriously, i had no mood to play..i was juz saving up my energy for d nite..& i was sleepyy...aft getting tired, we wanted to cut d cake..so called a small celebration for que's belated n my advanced bdae..it was quite windy so we cnt lite up d candles..soo, juz pretend...den, its d moment..prezzies!!!! suprisingly, i gt mine too..k, yana gt a roxy flipflop frm me n que..que gt a billabong flipflop frm me, a roxy cap & a star cardigan frm d combo fam..i gt a roxy flipflop & a roxy tote frm d combo fam..oso, que n me gt a small gift frm liping & a bdae card each handmade by yana..at dat moment, i was damnn elated..hw cn i nt be?? roxy stuffs i owaes wanted..i shouted wen i opened up d big present..d flipflop fits me juz nice..que's too..bt for yana, we gt it wrong..its abit too small for her....it was a flipflop yr or wat??!! den we had some camwhore session b4 packing up..we left d beach ard 3+..chnged n all, we head bck to vivo for movie...we watched bloody valentine, d 4.40pm show..i had to la..i cnt b walking ard vivo alone to pass time...bt den d movie starts at 5pm, wif d long stretch of advertisements..it was violent, even at d start of it..i braved myself to watch it..bt i tink, i only watched abt 1/4 of it..i was screaming, covering my eyes, covering my ears..since its 3D, i'll seem real & lyk evryting is near us..deres tis part whr d character threw smthg, i actualie dodged...que was laughing at me..hahaha...i left d cinema ard 6.10pm..since it started at 5pm, so i doubt it'll end by 6.30pm lyk wat d person told us..coz i had to mit ayu to go for dian training..yeap, wif my heavy bag n big ppr bag..we reached cc damn early..we finished up d new repertoir for wedding...im juz soo slow at catching up new steps..den d new ppl had to learn alunan lite up..blh la ehk...so, ya, i had a funn bt tiring dae...love u all la!!

some selected pics below..

*more on facebook/multiply*

Que's bdae

2009-03-04T18:41:00.006+08:00

So, hapie bdae to nurul quraishia..!! cnt believe its only 2daes away to turnin 20..hw time realie flies..seems lyk juz few daes i celebrated my previous bdaes..y? bcoz for 2yrs d celebrations were a great one..k niwae, im bck to using my old num..bill is kind of settled..realie gotta watch my usage of calls n smses...i still havent made up my mind of wat food to bring tmr..its only cnfmed dat i'll b bringing candles..haha...any suggestions dat is nt costly & easy to prepare? ash laz min cudnt join us..its okae gerl..perhaps nxt tym yea..soo, tmr will b my 2nd training for dian..goin wif ayu perhaps..=) i juz cudnt figure out d rite codes for d song input..juz didnt get it rite..will keep on tryin....& todae i ate mozart chocs..tink they r frm germany...soo love d marzipan in it.....(some ppl r juz goin thru d same ting as me..i c myself in her posts..exactly!)

presents hunting

2009-03-03T23:32:00.004+08:00

Hunting for presents is realie a difficult task...coz u'll b tinkin whether d person will lyk it anot if u buy this or those..so, i went out slightly early todae ard 12pm to bugis, in search for que's prezzie..i donoe hw many tyms i went up & dwn, in & out of d same shops..wanna buy tis, no size..wanna buy dat, dont hv d colour i wan..in d end i decided on smthg..bt bugis nt much choices..so, que came & we head to lj to hv our lunch furst..den bck to bugis junc to look for yana's prezzie..we bof had in mind wat to get for her..oh, we shared..tight budget for me arh..oso, nthg much interest us dere..den we decided to walk dwn to city hall..raffles city shopping centre, marina sq...hmmm....soo many choices till we cnt realie decide..settled on smthg...n d item we chose is on sale..haha...save2..bt its nice..bof agreed on it..den we went bck to raffles city sc coz i alrdy knew wat to buy for que..so, i asked her to go smwhr n i quickly went to buy it..k, i shudnt disclose wat both presents are...juz in case both of them read tis post..juz wait for thurs la hor..aft dat, we think dat its still too early to head hm...& furthermore, tarian training has been cancelled...we headed to vivo to walk ard..to rest our tired feets, we had desserts at ben n jerry's..brownie chzck flavour is soooo nt nice...!! den deres tis lady arguing abt smthg...blah3...n initially asked for refund bck....haix..tis kind of ppl...aft a walk ard vivo, we went to harbourfront..k, dats whr i bumped into khairi..i was msging den suddenly somebody called my name..i looked up n realie stunned...he gave me such a fright..it took me a few seconds b4 it came to my mind hu he is..haha...i nvr even talk to him in person b4...i knew him quite long alrdy uh..bt juz chatted on msn, sms...dats it..haha...strange eh...talkin abt him, i pity him sometimes ar...wateve it is, hopes it goes on smoothly btwn u n her k...n so, we headed hm ard 7+...n i bus-ed bck hm..*headache*...bus fares r cheaper than train fares...n dats d reason y...hehe... =))

& todae is parent's anniversary..nthg much..dad's werkin..i juz bought them a cake each..

new template.

2009-03-02T23:41:00.002+08:00

i spent hrs doing tis new template..i managed to learn a ting or 2..so hw is it?? nt fully editted yet though...coz im tired alrdy..i gave up on getting d codes done perfectly..shall cont tmr..=) finalie i gt wat i want for my blog..its juz a simple template..a try out...hehe...

we spent hrs talkin on d phone ytd..its juz great hw hes a medic & mostly hes learning wat ive learnt..we get to talk abt smthg in common at least..as a result, ya, i slept late...bt its ok...im fine wif it...sukee skali~..=P so, tis mornin was forced to wake up early..as usual...all those nagging non-stop...probs is being settled one by one..it came one aft another...pity mum...haix..

in lyk 15 mins tym is 3rd march...marks d 24th anni of my parents..& aft a longggggggg time, i chatted wif elaine..nt a long one bt proper enuf..hopefully d mit up nxt mon goes on smoothly...meanwhile, all d best n gd luck for ur exams...!! oh ya, she rmbed my bdae...haha...=D

my bill gotta get settled asap wif d help of sis...i owed u alotttt la sista.....thnx soo much!!

i shall cont tmr as i promised bro dat i'll finished evryting by 11pm..bt nw, its goin to be 12am...bt hes yet to sae niting...so, i better stop...

todae i only ate 3 small portions of roti john...gd or nt gd?? & oh..ive yet to find a suitable song for tis blog...

GREATTT!!!!! tarian resuming tmrrrr.....wheeeeeeee~~~ lookin forward to it..out wif que tmr too.....

2009-03-01T20:48:00.007+08:00

i shall update once again...i juz feel lyk it...haix2...ytd was bloody shit laaaaaa.........i dont even noe wat im feelin...mixed feelings..din get a gd slp ytd despite d early slp than usual..i dreamt of smthg bad..i dowan to rmb or even recall..ive let mostly all out...bt i juz havent vent my anger enuff...i juz feel lyk screaming at d top of my voice...till i gt no voice is better...k la wateve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

niwae, tis song touches me deep evrytym i went to d blog..;

Bintang

Kan ku abaikan
Segala hasratku
Agar kamu tenang dengan nya
Ku pertaruhkan
Semua ragaku
Demi dirimu bintang
.
Biarkan ku menggapaimu
Memelukmu
Memanjakanmu
Tidurlah kau di pelukku
Di pelukku
Di pelukku
.
Biar ku tunda
Segala hasratku
Tuk miliki dirimu
Karna semua
Telah tersiratkan
Dirimu kan milikku

dptkah ku mengabaikn segala hasratku? pertaruhkn? aku tetap ingin menggapaimu, memelukmu, memanjaknmu dan tidur di pelukmu walaupun aku hanya tmn tapi mesra. tapi dptkah ku tunda segala hasratku, utk memilikimu? mungkin juga...smue telah tersiratkn? ku sangsi, dirimu kn milikku?...ku tidak peduli, ku tetap ingin slalu menggapaimu, memelukmu, memanjaknmu, tidur di pelukmu dan menciummu....

*i shall b strong & face all tis..*

2009-02-27T21:39:00.002+08:00

i guess as im gettting a yr older, i started to tink more..? ya, i juz had to qn myself d same qns..its lyk its coming bck..d insecurities, d jealousy n watsoeve...as i listen to some songs, i started to shed tears..yup, aft soo long since all tis tears din wet my cheeks..sometimes i juz felt so lonely till all tis wild tots came to mind..i wanted to let tis all out...bt its juz dat im too afraid..bt i owaes wished dat one person knew..knew hw ive alwaes been feeling, hw i will react to certain tings, hw i will juz blurt out some personal qns out of nowhr...my mood changes on n off...lyk hw i will c d wallppr on ur phone..GOSH!! at dat pt of tym, i realie cnt take it..i bet u cn tell wen i react to certain tings..wen i suddenly kept quiet..wen i answered harshly..juz too many...i donoe if u cud tell all tis or u hv knew it all along...im nt asking sympathy or empathy frm u...bt i juz wan u to realie understand me, my dear bestfriend...hw i wan it to b actualie u shud knew rite...(some tings r too personal dat i wont put it here)...bkn la smue cm nk ikut kemahuan i...bt wif d rite way supposedly...sometimes its hard to swallow wat ive said.."hold on till at one time, u realie hv to let go......" eversince nw, ive been askin myself till wen, hw long more, will u all realie gonna last long..? i cn be rough if i wanted to...i hate tinkin abt all tis..even u will b angry at me knowing dat ive been tinkin of both of u...dont ever blame me...tis is life..i cnt escape frm wat is in my mind..i wanted to hold on longggg.....i believe im strong to do tis...bt all tis is bringing me dwn..nobody gvs me d strength..i feel lousy..wen will u eve come bck to me? or u wont at all? do u realie love me lyk hw u ever did? or do u still love me? am i treated as a bestfrn? y do i feel tis way? is it dat we spend realie lesser tym nw..? i juz had many tings to sae..i had to ask tis, hu do u love? kdg2, i sengaje buat tk tau..n i akan tanye diri i knape..if u still love me, y............y............ i guess wif all tis, some of my insecurities hv nt been answered..u ever asked me if im realie willing to wait..bt wat if im realie willing to? will it change aniting?
aku seperti dlm angan2 ku sendiri...mengharap utk berada disampingnya pada saat2 getir..mengharap yg dia la org yg pertama yg akan tau segala2nya...mengharap utk dia kembali membuatku gembira dan tertawa selalu..mengharap yg dia akan menemani ku keluar..angan2ku seperti hidup di dlm mimpi...dan mimpi kadangkala tidak menjadi kenyataan...aku hanya seorg insan yg tidak mampu berbuat apa2 tetapi hanya mampu berangan2 saja la...tahun ini mungkin adalah tahun yg akan merubah segala2nya? semuanya mungkin tidak akan seperti dulu kala...
aku buntu..fikiranku kusut semenjak skrg..seringkali pening..tapi aku inginkn kepastian seperti kisah acha yg inginkn kepastian dari irwansyah..one part of pesta perdana lyk depicts d situation i am in.....

i love u bestfrn!

genap 7 hari lagi..

2009-02-05T21:32:00.010+08:00

Chingay 30th-31st Jan 09 & Bride Wars 02 Feb 09

2009-02-04T01:24:00.003+08:00

tired.

sleepy.

busy.

lazy.

study.

exams.

will b bck soooonn..n update on all dat happens past few daes...

chingay, movie n watsoeve...

till ltr! =D

angry!

2009-01-28T20:39:00.005+08:00

hello~ i juz came bck frm jrg lib wif que not long ago..we borrowed bks as ref for our essay..yea...bt dont tink im continuing it ltr..my cramped legs is lyk killing me..cried..cnt bear it..yes! both my legs at d knee area....i donoe y la..usualie i'll get tis wen i go out often..bt den, tis wkends n holidaes, i stayed at hm..erggghhhhh!!!!! i hope it'll heal by tmr..n nobody wanna help me out n be my model for my HA retest TMRR..BOOHOO! haix...da naseb kn..ferst step of savin money is successful..i manage nt to buy tidbits or food wen im nt hungry..bt i alrdy bought a new mouse... simulation juz nw was a great xperience..

came bck hm juz nw was damn pissed off wif bro..evrytym i get hm, i'll use d lappy..bt den y izit he owaes will want to use it wen i want to use it? whereas i wasnt at hm frm morning till evening..cnt he used at dat tym?? tis has happens many tyms..n he shud understand dat its alrdy wk 16..so assignments n exams r coming up...so, i used d lappy often..nvm la..wen he enters poly ltr, he'll noe..den wen i asked him hw long hes gonna use it, he sed no nid..WTH! im alrdy kind enuf to let u use it ferst..a gd sister tinks for her bro ok.....idiot! jgn sombong arh lain kali...kakak kau nie bknnye jahat sgt la!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO MAD! i hope dad buy him a lappy...

dats wat makes me wanna blog...

chingay in 3daes? =D

Littlest Things

2009-01-28T00:05:00.008+08:00

Littlest Things - Lily Allen

Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing

Especially when I have to watch other people kissing

And I remember when you started callin' me your miss's

All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses

I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood

I don't why I trusted you but I knew that I could

We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt

I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt

[Chorus]

Dreams, Dreams

Of when we had just started things

Dreams of you and me

It seems, It seems

That I can't shake those memories

I wonder if you have the same dreams too.

The littlest things that take me there

I know it sounds lame but its so true

I know its not right, but it seems unfair

That the things are reminding me of you

Sometimes I wish we could just pretend

Even if for only one weekend

So come on, Tell me

Is this the end?

Drinkin' tea in bed

Watching DVD's

When I discovered all your dirty grotty magazines

You take me out shopping and all we'd buy is trainers

As if we ever needed anything to entertain us

The first time that you introduced me to your friends

And you could tell I was nervous, so you held my hand

When I was feeling down, you made that face you do

No one in the world who could replace you

[Chorus]

Dreams, Dreams

Of when we had just started things

Dreams of me and you

It seems, It seems

That I can't shake those memories

I wonder if you feel the same way too

The littlest things that take me there

I know it sounds lame but its so true

I know its not right, but it seems unfair

That the things reminding me of you

Sometimes I wish we could just pretend

Even if for only one weekend

So come on, Tell me

Is this the end?

.....

2009-01-27T23:43:00.008+08:00

did i bake todae?? haha....no...no...not lazy..juz dat i cnt find my recipes..ive been tryin to recall whr i gt d recipe frm to bake his bdae cake laz yr..coz its kinda nice..oso bcoz of tis flu i gt while tidying up my rm & cramp on tis 1st dae..tk pernah2 eh..so, mum called in d late aftnoon askin if i bake donuts..i sed no coz im lazy to go dwn n buy those ingredients nt available at hm..den mum sed dat thurs shes goin geylang so she'll help me buy...yeah~! so thurs it is..a dozen donuts will b put on hold again....essay? havent cont yet..ltr on..sch startin at 12pm tmr so yea, slpg abit late..facebook games r damn addictive...n wen shud i buy a new mouse? its troublesome playin w/o one..& i feel dat my posts r boring coz deres no new pics to upload..ytd i found some skins..mayb i'll try it out..c hw la eh..so, tmr for lab will b simulation or in short sims..yea, been damn long since i laz played The Sims..haha...no la, nt dat sims..tis simulation tingy is lyk a real situation at d hospital..they hv mannequins which cn react/response or watsoeve..i sent ibnu as a rep frm my grp..im soo sorie..he was actualie mad at me..bt den, i donoe la..he even shouted at me dat dae..bt i dont take it to heart..n out of my xpectation, he smsed me sayin sorie for shouting at me earlier..i was laughing la sehh...k, dat happened laz fri..aft dat, hm? hmmm.....wat shud i wear tmr? cupboard is full bt still nt enuf..of coz la! n recently mum nagged..y? coz she sed deres no plc to put her shoes, bro's n dad's..y? coz deres shoe rack bt its all occupied by my footwears...(counting on) *grins*

xing nian quai le

2009-01-26T22:06:00.008+08:00

wo de peng you; xing nian quai le..

wat a boring dae..pain has not healed yet..had diarrhoea instead..so, spent d dae slping n playin pet society..din do essay todae..bt i found some of d techniques..randomly; shud i cut my hair? i spent some time searching thru d net for donuts website dat is in spore..bugis street has tis sprinkles shop..bt im nt sure if its still dere..coz its dozen is cheap..i was hoping dat i cud save tis $80 i had..or if nt $50? its impossible dat i wont spent on little2 tings rite..tmr is yet another dae at hm..shud i bake? im tinkin of modifying my choc muffin recipe & baking donuts..bt mum, cn u help me fork out d budget? hehe...or shud i cook spaghetti bolognaise yet again? lets see wat i'll do tmr if im nt lazy k..for nw, bro wanna use lappy..n im gonna draft out my paras for essay..yea..dats it..im missing u!

" evry farytales/story has its sad or happy ending..but my story has no ending yet.."

of pain dat is killing

2009-01-25T21:13:00.005+08:00

im still having abdominal pain+stomach pain..unfortunately d clinic i owaes went to is closed todae..it started on fri nite bt nt soo painful..i wonder y...its gonna b 2 more daes of rest..sentosa outing was cancelled due to many cnt make it..essay started wif 1st para only..did some research online..bt den, im still contemplating on whether to do on patients or customers..i ate alot again..i wonder y too...a quick recap frm past few daes..

thurs, i failed my HA..i gt cardiovascular..hw unlucky..gotta go bck to sch on thurs for retest..

fri, went sch abit late..bumped into nisa..shes in mly dance..hw cool..i din noe..niwae, upon reachin sch, fauzi called..n was suprised..did he like sent a spy to check on his gf? he actualie knew i walked wif nisa..wth..n yes, at dat moment i feel for her..i dowan to elaborate further..y am i owaes frnly wif some1 elses gf..ARGGHHHH!!!!! lab lesson for an hr plus..den to lib for 3hrs...den to jp for lunch n window shop wif yana..we reached jp quite late alrdy..aft a walk ard jp, yana wanted to go to d temp int bt d shop dere was closed..den, bck to tis fashion at mrt stn..dats whr i saw B..haha..it was realie a coincidence..my ferst tym seeing him in CD uni..hehe...oh well~ as usual, smart, cute..d same reaction i had few mths ago?? i like... sent him off at d int..bt only u noe man wat i wanted to do...den hm..went for SPIB claz..ferst tym claz was so alive..had cake n sweets frm d facis..n aft many2 grp discussion we've had, dat nite was my ferst tym presenting..=) came bck frm claz, i helped mum did tis kueh pukis ayam berkeju..

sat morning, was a usual mit up wif some1..till noon duh...den to lib..i tot of goin to cck lib coz bb lib has nt many bks on communication..bt den d pain acts up again...so, cancelled of plan..bt, its gd though..coz if i go lot1, i'll sure drop by cotton on n im so sure dat i'll spend on clothes..i managed to save..im left wif a certain amt which nids to laz till end of feb..so, d bez ting is to stay hm..b4 i went hm, i bought some sushis n a cheese pancake..yea, i spent on food again...i dont mind spendin on food actualie..bt den i guess, i nid to ctrl...

todae, was a dae at hm rotting, tidying up d hse, did laundry...i had to..plan to lib was cancelled coz bro was out playin soccer n badminton...n speakin of badminton, he actualie took my racket w/o my permission..i die2 tot its his..i was frustrated la..coz i alwaes took gd care of it while playin, preventin it frm getting anymore scratches or wat..n seeing its condition juz nw, it has turned bad..huhu...took care of erika while sis was out to a frn's engagement..tell u, she was rude..orderin me lyk i was her maid or wat..geraaaamm je....was relieved wen parents r bck frm werk so cn look aft her..ya great, pain is acting up nw..its mainly on d left side arh...gastritis, appendix...dont tell me all tis...

hmmm.....hes away to kmpg..tot cud mit up wif him again..sobs* no more tears aliah...pls...rmb wat he told u..? bt sometimes, its within my ctrl...parents n bro goin kmpg in early feb...great..haha..hm to myself..i cnt follow mainly bcoz i havent renewed my passport..nowadaes, i indulge myself wif a lollipop a dae...i am still craving for donuts n swensen's ice-cream..i feel lyk doin myself oreo donuts..i tink its easy...swensen anybody...tinkin abt swensen, i wonder if tis yr bdae celebration, im gonna hv a meal dere again..coz for past 2yrs, i had it for my bdae..1st was at earl vivo & d other was at wm outlet..n i rmbered sayin smthg lyk, "evry yr, i want to celebrate my bdae at swensen's arh..." will it b wif diff grp of ppl or will it b wif dat some1 whom i love soo muchh? still long way to go aliah..40 more daes to b exact..i am turning 20! ~i am 19 goin on 20~ & chingay's coming up..i skipped sat's training again..bt i tink its fine..coz gt to noe frm ika, my grp was juz practicing on their own..coz they focus more on d middle grp..tis coming fri is full dress cum preview at city hall..luckily fri no sch..sat is d actual dae at ct hall too..n nyp only left wif 2 survivors, hariz n me..liyana n arul bck out at d vry laz min..

i had a dream laz nite which i cnt recalled..i had a deja vu a few hrs ago n i cn recalled..

come bck safely..i owaes cared abt u..hope u'll get well sooon...

maybe ive hurt u alot in a way or another...im sorie... i muz learn to b tactful.

sleepy day

2009-01-21T22:47:00.006+08:00

*oh..look at dat eye of mine..buruukkkk..*

todae was a slpy dae in sch..reached late for bio lect...great!! i havent buy d vol. 2 bk..bt yana tapped for me alrdy..coz i left my card accidentally wif her ytd..lect ended early..den they wanna go to toa payoh for brunch..so, d 5 of us went to fork & spoon..all d food dere tempted sehh...n furthermore all halal...bt den ended up 4 of us ate tom yum noodle..k, i was eating wen yana sae d soup gt splash onto my tudung..a small one..i panicked alrdy...ugly la...kanchonggg, i put dwn d chopsticks, 1 dropped..i went to d toilet to wash abit..den cont eating..i was lyk being careful nt to splash nimore..i felt dat it splashes onto my blouse n again i put dwn d chopsticks...n clumsily 1 of it dropped again...haha...k den eat eat eat....n yet again, tis tym was nt abt splashes..bt to adjust my tudung as we were sitting near a mirror..i put it dwn n 1 of it dropped AGAIN....n it lyk formed a pathway..haha...i actualie needed 3pairs of chopsticks for 1 bowl of tom yum noodle...bck to sch, evrybody was alrdy full n i felt slpy too...soo, todae lab lesson was juz sitting on d floor n teacher goin thru pre op n post op wateve...i muz sae i fell aslp on n off...wat to xpect..2hrs leh...i cnt take it..actualie wanted to stay bck for HA..bt den went off coz i was damn slpy..

i ate alot todae..i had porridge for breakfast..den tom yum noodle for lunch..i bought ice cream cone frm mac wen abt to go off frm sch..reached hm, ate chendol ice cream i bought 2daes ago..wat else..hmmm, dadih, lollipop, prata, super ring cracker (munching on rite nw)...ish3...tmr is my HA practical test..i hope i wont get cardiovascular..troublesome part, i had to remove my tudung..i was chatting wif julie wen she sed she misses dancing...n i sed, i am too...k random...

he called..i rejected goin out wif him..im juz plain lazy...i had many tings to do, i dowan..unless its smthg impt or i hv to..i understood wat B meant thru dat mail..i dont wanna make it worse even though im juz befriending wif him (nt B)..wats impt, i dowan my frnship wif B to hv any dispute..i donoe hw to xplain...bt wat matters is i understood his feeling..hv been tinking of him...n den suddenly..........he called juz nw..hehe..was hapie..acted lyk i din recognise his voice..bt d sad ting is, hes nt recovering..knowing tis juz nw, makes me worried..i hope he'll get well soon...& im waiting for tis wk to end..

cny plan was to go sentosa wif clazmates..which dae am nt sure...& i want to buy cap arh...k la, wanna read thru HA...

*see, tis r d 3 chopsticks which i dropped it..*

short one..

2009-01-20T23:40:00.000+08:00

a short post..

well, nthg much happen todae..

claz start at 8am..i woke up at 9am..

so, had to b absent for 2 claz..

ive been feeling nausea for 2daes alrdy..usualie aft i ate..

& i cried in my slp again laz nite..

i donoe wat was i dreaming abt..i cudnt recall..

bt i knew i was cryin..

i only knew i was vry sad..

chingay practice todae was boring..

onlie 30ppl turn up..

todae, i had to ask mum for money in advance..

feb coming up, alot of plans ehk..

gonna start my essay soon,

aft im done wif my HA practical test..

u r missed!

delicacies!!!

2009-01-19T23:48:00.004+08:00

hello. i took sucha long tym to blog tis post. coz i had to edit all d pics furst. ive slept bt still im sleepy. havent write dwn d pts for ibnu to say for tmr's 1089. worst, havent read d article. ive been feelin rather unwell with flu which cum n go, backache n tis heart is in unstable state i guess.

hmm...sat; din join them for cycling at ecp. i was still out d whole dae. i skipped chingay trainin as feelin abit unwell..=) mornin was to a frn's hse till aftnoon..den went to bugis to mit mum n bro..den head to city hall to mit dad..den went to peninsula..den bck to bugis whr i accompanied fauzi to sim lim sq..muscle ache!! den hm..bumped into arul outside bk bugis village..he wants to bck out frm chingay...wth..aiyoh! & while walkin to bugis junc, i saw sha2 n ran towards her..we both shouted n hug...haha..been longgg.....&& i regretted goin out wif fam..hurhur*..

sun; was slacking at hm n doin presentation..its oso d dae i had nightmares/dreams..all abt NS tingy....i donoe y..since i read it..ive been feeling rather uneasy..my mind was lyk ......... i donoe hw to describe it..wat i knew, i woke up at one tym n found myself crying..so, i actualie cried in my slp..frm then on, ive nt been havin gd mood..its lyk i found myself changing abit..weneve im online, i hv d tendency to read it again, bt den i didnt...

ytd; i had cravings for ice-cream, donuts, chocs, potato chips, lollipops....

n todae, its abt having quite a num of deja vu...n its oso abt stuffing myself wif food n tidbits...i donoe wats up wif deja vu..dat sat oso, i encountered one..todae was monday 'blacks' nt blues..i donoe wats up wif me dat i intended to wear dat black long sleeve given by him..bt i din wore it as a formal one though..suprisingly, i still fit in huh...it was 1090 roleplay cum our laz presentation..we did ok..lesson ended at 1pm..den i cooked alot...hahaa...wat i did? i played cooking mama..till ard 2.45pm den i went to lib to mit d rest..den went off..i was soo tired dat i tink i slept vry ugly-ly in d train..otw hm, i stopped by a convenience store n bought a sapporo potato cracker, 2 lollipops, 2 ice-creams, a zappel drink..den mum came hm n bring bck those foods below..i love d pastries/crossaint frm mount e..i ate mostly all bt i left behind 1 for hueve...haha..niwae, its nt only 5pieces..i oso tried d tuna sandwich..was so-so..i ate alot todae including d prata frm sch..nt hungry, bt juz wanna stuff myself...hmmm.....mood?? n anybody wanna buy for me 1dozen donuts which muz include oreo, tiramisu, choc 'o' latte???

Below r pics taken todae, laz fri n sat...

*rmb tis?*

buntu

2009-01-16T18:27:00.005+08:00

6.27pm

wonder y i put all tis pics? coz i miz him soo.....hurhur* yes! i miz my bff..faster cum bck!!

6.48pm

he juz called...hes bck once again...

dat xplains hw slow i typed tis post..

To Ashley: im realie sorie...u hv done alot..u did alot most of d tym..i wud sae ur better than me..i feel real bad..u'd sae u dont mind..bt i donoe wats deep dwn...im sorie ashley..=(

tis mth is realie terrible..im in financial crisis nw..its only mid of d mth..tsk2*..fund me!! bck to sch...yay!! i passed my skill retest..better tis time..bt still susan comment will owaes b confidence n speak out loud..i din noe i talked so soft...haha...den it was slackin in d lib playin pet society while waitin for yana n que..they goin to wdlands to watch movie..i cnt follow..finance2! initially tot to eat out..bt den gt to noe mum cooked rendang..so, i didnt..i better saved d money i borrow frm bro...YES!! c hw bad my situation is nw...end of wk faster cum...took train tgt wif them..bumped into glory n gloria..we soo kecohh in d train..haha...n i saw zulfadli..been ages..laz tym was durin sec sch? niwae, juz nw was my ferst tym talkin to him in person...hahaha...he looked abit diff...hehe...&& im in a dilemma....abt tmrr...chingay n meetin him and/or east coast or out wif mum n bro...hw2???

its 7.30pm nw..gotta get ready..todae im realie draggin myself to mds..

*d passion in us*

excitement!

2009-01-14T23:39:00.006+08:00

helloooooo!!! im missing him yet again....arghh!! bt niwae, im hapie.....weeeee..........u noe i noe y eh...cnt wait! cnt wait! sat faster come. . . . . .

ytd...sch started only at 1pm..for a 2hr lect which obviously ended early..initially planned to hv grp meeting..n supposedly meeting them to bio lab n breakfast..bt i guessed im too tired dat i only woke up at 11...took my own swit tym to get ready & ate n reached sch early for lect..hehe...attendance for ytd's lect was vry poor..seriously! den headed to north for prata..ate again..aft which had tutorial at 3pm..another assignment...sianzz....den, took pics blah3..n yana kept yawning...fauzi called askin me to accompany him to wdlands which i did..n so he sed 5pm at wdlands..its 4.40 wen i was walkin to yck mrt n i asked him whr was he..n he sed he juz board d train at kembangan!!! soo, i reached wdlands at 5pm..n waited for him for nearly 5min to 1 freaking hr!!! i ate again & again...haiyo! cn i go on a diet?? i'll get nagging man...=D went off ard 8 to hm..studied tiny whiny bit for bio prac...cnt survived alrdy..

todae...he called yet again....i like it lah....lyk duh, of coz im damn hapie lor tis wk..frequent k B...hahakz...wat happened todae? skipped lect due to ovrslp..i woke up at 6.30 for morning prayer..den i went bck to slp..den i forgt to alarm..den i woke up suddenly to c d clock: 9.05am..lect starts at 9am mind u..tis is wat happen owaes wen i forgt to alarm..noe y i forgt? coz i owaes take a long tym to tink wat tym shud i wake up..den initially fell aslp..cn my frns wake me up plsss....???? or hu eve wanna wake me up..ok, i decided to slp awhile more n woke up at 10am..hehe..n again, took my own swit tym..ate breakfast n all..had grp meeting at 11.30..i roughly hv d idea of wat we gonna do for our roleplay - hate it!! juz nw many ppl sed retest for skills is todae..i was lyk HUH???!!! coz i din prepare at all..n so had remedial for retest..n luckily ms susan doesnt hv enuf tym to do all 7 of us in which she assessed 2 only..mine's on fri..n i tink tis tym round im confident..stayed in sch till 7pm to study bio..i tink its 30% study..70% sidetracking..exam timetable is out..tis sem is only 3 pprs...woohoo! early holiday...GREAT!

im gonna go bonkers man if my HA is tmr too...den nw aft i changed to nxt wk, im nt sure if deres rehearsal tmr..ish3! intensive grp meetin - tmr n fri too..wat to do...presentation is on mon = script nt done! bio prac test tmr early mornin 9am!

pics frm ytd....

*HA wif gloria*

*queey..wats d date for? bdaes la duh*

*liping took tis pic bt her face cnt be seen*

*d diff poses..baik arh yana! haha*

*so kekok to b on d left*

*yana's slpy face*

*ur cheeks nice la LP..colour tone beza sak..*

*nk step cute je ni mat...& notice dat im owaes on d right??*

d shoes below realie attracted me..especially d ferst one..it tempts me to start customising my shoes bck..bt i wanna find dat black glitter for fabric ferst...black on white is a simple one..i alrdy had donoe hw many pairs n i wan more..any kind souls wanna get it for me or customised for me? coz im lazy..or as a bdae present perhaps?? hehe...tell u my size is 39/40..bt 40 wud b better...*grins* ...tell me which one is nicer...tyvm!

*black glitter swirls*

credits: http://the-qin-workshop.blogspot.com

*abstract flora & black abstract flower*
credits: http://babyheartabg.blogspot.com

ok, bck to bio nw..or mayb gonna slp for awhile n wake up? d main qn is, will i wake up???!!! haha...till nxt post...

bubye! [missing him <3]

happiness & sadness

2009-01-12T23:06:00.006+08:00

1st of all, let me congratulate my bro, muhd. hafiz...hes gt quite a gd O level result..n he retaking mly for 4x realie pays off..frm B3 for 3x den finalie A1..hes far better off frm me..im nt jealous ok..im juz proud of him..oh gosh! in sch juz nw it was nerve wrecking for chi test n presentation n even for my bro's result...haha...n till nw, hes still lookin thru d JAE bklet..n glad dat parents hv changed their mind to let him cont poly ferst instead of goin NS..bck to sch, chi roleplay was ok i guess..test was fine..i actualie woke up in d mornin todae n d ferst ting i rmbered was d test..i hv forgotten abt it during wkends..bt i tink cn survived!

aft sch, went to wdlands lib wif bro n gf for awhile..den ate at LJ..yea finalie bt i cnt finish it up..k, while at lib cafe, received msg frm d guy above..he told me dat it was his laz day at cb..i was damn shocked lor..so, aft 'dinner', i went ovr to cb to mit him for awhile..waited for him to hv his break & we talked...to tink ** juz terminate ppl lyk dat..he told me dat deres tis issue which was suddenly brought up..n to him it doesnt make sense..its ok la, u urself sed its nt worth it rite..find other jobs soon la..niwae frn, be strong! hahahah....go concentrate on ur studies...*hmmmm, as if* =P rmb to bring bks to sch or shud i sae buy...? okae...den he resumed werk n i went off...& stop all those negative tots u had for revenge...nonsense! =)

tmr gonna be a short dae in sch i guess...bt meeting hw eh? bio hw eh? i still hv my skill retest tis wk..haix...sianz...i hate tis period of sch..did i sed tis b4? nvm...laz sat chingay full-dress rehearsal was damn tiring..&& anybody hv berita harian laz sat? i want d chingay pic coz gt my face..eventho nt clear..haha..training n rehearsal hv been mixing ard wif d hillgrovians...n oso rite, d ting on my head for chingay is nt soo heavy bt ma fan..gave many of us headache onlie..lookin forward to actual dae...picturesssss.................hehehee.......

hes bck in camp alrdy...wen will d nxt tym be?? lookin forward to it...

* im in my rm...& look into those purple eyes of mine..=D *

LA videos

2009-01-09T22:50:00.004+08:00

Opening of Layar Andayu 08.

Scene Raja.

Scene Audition.

I din performed for d opening bt its awesome n so decided to put it up..i was in scene raja n audition..spot me if u cn..n recently i juz received dia dtg video frm liyana which i performed for lunchtime..& i noticed smthg wen i danced..n its vry bad i shud sae..hope i cn change d way.. =)